Tuesday 26 March 2013

When obedience becomes a God-sized dream...

Holley Gerth has been blogging about God-sized dreams this year.  Today, Cara Sexton is contributing. These words have opened my eyes:
"I can never see to the end of a God-sized dream. There are big, fat “how?” holes lining the path and unlike my Technicolor substitute, I cannot self-construct a roadmap or define the ultimate purpose. While I may envision a pit stop on the road, I will never know the whole impact, the complete story of the dream’s fulfillment, as it is a life’s work and gracefully, I am not the only the author of this story. God dreams move by Spirit, one shaky footstep at a time into landscapes we have never imagined.

The faithful journey of following a holy dream often requires actual miracles, but even more, the faith to ask for them, to expect them while you work hand-in-hand with intimate mystery.

God dreams are always outside of our own abilities, outside of our understanding and comprehension."

Somehow, I'd thought that God-sized dreams were my own dreams which would be impossible to achieve unless God worked a miracle. But perhaps God-sized dreams are also God-inspired dreams. God's dreams. Not mine.

This seems, on a human, selfish level, if I am to be honest, quite disappointing. 'What about MY dreams?' screams my heart. 'What about MY longings, needs, wants?' As I struggle with serving in a small, traditional, so-not-how-I-want-to-worship church, my sense of frustration mounts.

Perhaps I am looking at this the wrong way round?  Psalm 37:3-4 says "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."



Perhaps my 'dream' is not a personal, selfish one but 'God-inspired'. And, if so, I know the dream is the call he gave me to this desert place, where my heart and spirit seem to shrink, I see nothing before me but a grey fog and I serve out of obedience. I serve.

I need to remember this:
"God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us."  – Ephesians 3:30 (MSG)

So, when I am feeling tired, and weary, and old at this game for nothing much seems to have changed for years... I remember: Psalm 71:
"In you, Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame.
In your righteousness, rescue me and deliver me;
turn your ear to me and save me.
Be my rock of refuge,
to which I can always go;
give the command to save me,
for you are my rock and my fortress.
Deliver me, my God, from the hand of the wicked,
from the grasp of those who are evil and cruel.
For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord,
my confidence since my youth.
From birth I have relied on you;
you brought me forth from my mother’s womb.
I will ever praise you.
I have become a sign to many;
you are my strong refuge.
My mouth is filled with your praise,
declaring your splendor all day long.
Do not cast me away when I am old;
do not forsake me when my strength is gone.
For my enemies speak against me;
those who wait to kill me conspire together.
They say, “God has forsaken him;
pursue him and seize him,
for no one will rescue him.”
Do not be far from me, my God;
come quickly, God, to help me."
I remember. I put myself in the right place: a servant of God. I repent of my selfishness and I choose to praise.

As Brenton Brown sings:
I will remember you, always remember you,
I will remember you and all you've done for me (x 2)
I will not forget all your benefits

even when the storms surround my soul
how you comfort me, heal all my diseases
how you lift me up on eagles wings
I will remember you always remember you
I will remember you and all you've done for
me (x 2)
I will not forget all your benefits
how you've chosen and adopted me
Orphaned by my sin grace has let me in
and never once have you abandoned me
I will remember you always remember you
I will remember you and all you've done for me
I have tasted and I've seen how you Father faithfully,
how you shepherd those who fear Your name
When the shadows start to fall and my heart begins to fail
I will lift my eyes to you again (and)

3 comments:

  1. You share a wonderful and refreshing drink of encouragement! Just love that verse from Ephesians, too. Thanks for the lift!

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  2. Thanks Kim - thanks for dropping by: I was pleased as I have read your blog in the past.

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  3. So often it is the poetry of music that speaks to me. I love this...
    "even when the storms surround my soul
    how you comfort me, heal all my diseases
    how you lift me up on eagles wings
    I will remember you always remember you
    I will remember you and all you've done for
    me
    I will not forget all your benefits
    how you've chosen and adopted me"
    So glad that you're dreaming with us.
    Peace and good to you in Jesus' name.
    Chelle

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