Success

Chatting recently with friends who, like I, are going through a course with the Guernsey School of Supernatural Life, about mentors and friendship.  Then came across Scott Saul's blog about his new book 'Befriend'.

And then I read down, read down to a post about success and what REALLY matters. An extract here:
"As I think about these blessings, I am also struck by Jesus’ admonishment to his disciples precisely when their perceived ‘success’ and ‘influence’ was at its peak:

The seventy-two returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in your name!” And he said to them…“Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you. Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven (Luke 10:17-20).

Did you catch that?

When the disciples came to him with news of their strength and influence and success, his response was to say, “Do not rejoice.”

Why? Because, as my colleague and friend, Bob Bradshaw likes to remind us often, ninety-five percent of ‘successful’ people end up failing the test of prosperity because, in many instances, there is an inverse relationship between what the world calls ‘success’ and true success. For we are successful only when we have character that is greater than our gifts and abilities, and humility that is greater than our platforms and influence.

When God prospers us for a time, when he chooses to put the wind at our backs, of course we should enjoy the experience. But we mustn’t hang our hats on it…because earthly success is temporary. If and when it comes, it does so as a gift from God and it is also fleeting. Jesus is telling us not to allow appetizers to replace the feast, or a single apple to replace the orchard, or a road sign to replace the destination to which it points. On this, CS Lewis provides essential wisdom:

It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires (that is, our ambitions) not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased. (The Weight of Glory)

Here, Lewis reminds us that no self-serving ambition has the ability to satisfy the vastness of the human soul made in the image of God. As Augustine aptly said, the Lord has made us for himself. Our hearts will be restless until they find their rest in him....

... the story of every person who has experienced the anticlimax of having getting to the end of the rainbow and finding that there is not a pot of gold there after all, confirms a universal truth for every human heart:

Only Jesus, whose government and whose peace shall never cease to increase (Isaiah 9:7), can sustain us. Only Jesus, whose resurrection assures us that he is, and forever will be, making all things new, can fulfill our deepest desires and give us a happily ever after. Only Jesus can make everything sad come untrue (credit Tolkein with that one). Only Jesus can ensure a future in which every chapter will be better than the one before (credit Lewis). Only Jesus can give to us the glory and the soaring strength of an eagle (Isaiah 40:31). Only Jesus, whose name is above every name, and at whose name every knee will bow, can give us a name that will endure forever (Philippians 2:9-10; Isaiah 56:5).

Making much of his name is, then, is a far superior ambition than being ‘successful’ or trying to make a name for ourselves. For apart from Jesus, all men and women, even the most ambitious and successful and strong, will wither away like a vapor. “People are like grass. The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever” (Psalm 40:7-8).

Lastly, if this isn’t enough to give us a healthier, humbler perspective on self-exalting, self-advancing ambitions, perhaps this observation from Anne Lamott will:

One hundred years from now?
All new people.

I don’t know about you, but for me, that’s an important perspective to keep—whether living in plenty or in want.

Let’s do all things through Christ, who alone strengthens us."

Deuteronomy! Chapter 1

Deuteronomy 1.
Verse 3: 'Moses addressed the People of Israel, telling them everything God had commanded him concerning them."
Moses reminds the Israelites of the journey they have been on and the way he, under God's guidance, has led them.
Initial thought: why is he telling them all this? Were I there, would I feel like a child being reprimanded for having been disobedient? Would I feel guilty, chastised? A journey which should have taken 11 days took 40 years of much trouble and heartbreak.
God said: (v6, v8) "The Lord our God said to us at Horeb, ...  See, I have given you this land. Go in and take possession of the land that the Lord swore he would give to your fathers – to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob – and to their descendants after them.’
God TOLD them. Again, in v21 " See, the Lord your God has given you the land. Go up and take possession of it as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, told you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.’
But they didn't just accept this - they wanted spies to go in first to reassure them. Even then, although the reports were of a good land, the Israelites still refused to go because they were too afraid of the inhabitants, even though Moses reminded them that God would fight for them:
vv29 - 33 "Then I said to you, ‘Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, 31 and in the wilderness. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place.’

In spite of this, you did not trust in the Lord your God..."

Then God was angry with them and would not let them go in to the Promised Land: even Moses, who, as their leader, He held responsible. It was only Caleb and Joshua, the spies who encouraged the Israelites that the Canaanites could be defeated, and the youngest, innocent children, who would go in. (vv 34 - 40)

And of course the Israelites then regretted it, tried to make it right by going in to fight even though God said he would not be with them and they were defeated. 

This seems scary. That we can lose a God-given opportunity and cannot reclaim it. Even risking God's anger further. This was the God of the Old Testament, the God of the Law, clearly laid down for all to follow with rules and consequences.

And even though Jesus is loving and forgiving all who come to him, we still need to learn to live with consequences, which may not change however remorseful we might be....

So Moses, at the end of his life, begins his final address to his people by reminding them of their failure...

We need to learn from the past.

The Israelites had God: His presence, promises, provision, protection. Yet all they could see were the problems.  Their vision was clouded by the circumstances.

So why did Moses remind the Israelites of all their mistakes and failures?  So they could learn from the past and make better choices in the future. To trust God, not making hasty decisions and rushing ahead.

We need to learn from the past. We need to admit our failures, accept the consequences and turn to God in humility for our futures.

And remember that God " works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

We can trust Him.

Disappointment

I've had quite a week - partly of my own making. A large part, I think. I've had - am having - the sort of week when I echo the psalmist, repeatedly, "...sin is always before me".

Or, as the Message puts it, "I know how bad I've been; my sins are staring me down."

Staring me down. Shaming me. Filling me with disappointment.

Because here's the thing, the dichotomy: I am a new creation in Christ, I am redeemed, I am bought with a price, I am loved, I am forgiven...and I am sinful. (No point in detailing exactly how - I'm trying not to wallow in the negatives.)

Justified but not yet sanctified.
Considered perfect and blameless - in God's sight, but not yet actually so.

And, as I read the Bible, and try to pray and follow Jesus' teachings and wisdom, I find myself ever falling short of the standard I aim for.

Perfection.

Not possible.

I need to remember that 'a miss is as good as a mile' - in other words, it doesn't matter how much I strive or how close to 'perfection' I get, I STILL DON'T MAKE IT.

Frustrated? Yes. Disappointed with myself? Definitely. Feel like a failure as a Christian? Tick. Have a sense of shame for 'letting God down'? Tick. Tick. Tick.

And as I pondered the relational mess I was in, partly from my own attitudes, partly from the accusations of others, I realised how ridiculous my thoughts and feelings were.

Frustrated - because I wasn't as good and perfect as I hoped to be. Ridiculous. "Jesus said, “Why are you calling me good? No one is good, only God."

Disappointed? Well, what else do I expect? I am not even near perfect and to think otherwise is self-delusion.

Feeling like a failure? Of course, that is my natural state. All of us - including me -have sinned and fallen short of God's glory. "...we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us."

'Letting God down'?  Am I nuts? Was I ever holding him up? Does he need his reputation defending?
As the Christian rhyme artist, Propaganda, says, quoting Charles Spurgeon: "Trying to prove GOD exists is like defending a lion only He don't need the help. Just unlock the cage."

And so I recognise that I am hugely imperfect but I AM trying my best. And when the attack and difficulties come, I can step back and look more easily at what is happening without seeing it all through the lens of false guilt.

Freeing. Liberating. #gainedperspective

Because though 'my sin is always before me', Jesus has it covered, Literally and liberally, with his huge grace.

#calm #peace #Godlovesme  #Godlovesmyenemiestoo.

Walking on water

Meanwhile, the boat was far out to sea when the wind came up against them and they were battered by the waves. At about four o'clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them walking on the water. They were scared out of their wits. "A ghost!" they said, crying out in terror. But Jesus was quick to comfort them. "Courage, it's me. Don't be afraid."

 Peter, suddenly bold, said, "Master, if it's really you, call me to come to you on the water."

 He said, "Come ahead."

 Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, "Master, save me!"

 Jesus didn't hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, "Faint-heart, what got into you?"

 The two of them climbed into the boat, and the wind died down. The disciples in the boat, having watched the whole thing, worshiped Jesus, saying, "This is it! You are God's Son for sure!" Matthew 14:24 – 33, The Message

We are accustomed to thinking of this passage as encouragement when we go through the ‘storms’ of life. Jesus gets in the boat and the water calms down. One of my favourite books is indeed called ‘Lord of my rocking boat’  by Carole Mayhall, who was on the staff of The Navigators for many years.  I thoroughly recommend it: full of practical wisdom; teaching about the lessons to be learned from and through the storms; and inspiration to ‘soar’ with God above them.

Today I thought we could look at the process of being in the boat, in the storm, a little more closely.

1. Being in the middle of a storm is bad enough but then something else happens: "A ghost!" they said, crying out in terror.

Our storms are relatively easy to identify: trouble at work, difficult relationships, perhaps money worries or health issues – but what is a ghost?

Could it be our terrified response?

The ‘storm’ is bad enough, but it is often how we handle it which determines how well we cope. Our perception – the  ‘ghost’ in the storm – may be coloured by fear, depression, anxiety, doubt...we react to the ‘spirit’ we see. We see the spectres of despair and discouragement as we are tormented by doubt and disappointment.

Life is challenging enough – we don’t need to add fear to the recipe for disaster. As we struggle with life circumstances, let’s not succumb to spiritual attack. Let us remember that ‘though I walk the darkest path, I will NOT fear the evil one.

I.Will.Not.Fear.

John Ortberg (If You Want To Walk On Water, You Have To Get Out Of The Boat, page 14) points out that Jesus meant to ‘pass by’ and that the verb used is the same one used when God ‘passed by’ Moses to show his glory, when Moses was hidden in the cleft of the rock. Maybe we should not be afraid to see Jesus for who he is: on the contrary, other ‘spectres’ then disappear.

2. As we cry out in fear, like the disciples, what happens? Jesus was quick to comfort them. "Courage, it's me. Don't be afraid."

Jesus answers. He tells us to cheer up. And Not To Fear.

Easy.

Easy? Only if we ‘fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith...’ Hebrews 12:2

(Courtney of Women Living Well, in the first introductory video for the Proverbs 31 Bible study, also quotes this verse.)

We can indeed ‘cheer up’ because Jesus has come.

3. These words of comfort were all Peter needed. On recognising Jesus, he then makes a strange request. Peter, suddenly bold, said, "Master, if it's really you, call me to come to you on the water." He needed wisdom: asking ‘if it’s really you,’ he waited for an answer. He didn’t just assume it was Jesus.

We too can ask and wait for an answer from Jesus.

Wouldn’t you just have wanted Jesus to be with you IN THE BOAT? Wouldn’t you or I have asked Jesus to take them miraculously into the harbour or to make the storm disappear?

Peter just wanted to be with Jesus – that was enough for him.

4. Jesus said "Come ahead."  Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. So Peter, discerning between foolishness – jumping out of the boat into the lake and  faith – jumping out of the boat onto the lake – jumped. He moved from difficult circumstances – a tiny boat in the middle of a fierce storm – to something worse. Certain death by drowning.

Yet he started walking.

When I’m also trying to ‘walk on water’ – trying to keep my eyes on Jesus when life is tossing me around like washing on a windy day – I remember some wise words which a friend said to me many years ago: Don’t look at the water. Don’t look at the circumstances, but keep on trusting Jesus.

5. Of course, we know that Peter’s faith wavered. But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, "Master, save me!"

How far away from the boat was Peter by then? He must have gone quite a way, because he was nearer Jesus. Peter was near enough for Jesus to grab hold of him: Jesus didn't hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand.

For us, as for Peter, there is no sitting still in the middle of life’s storms. I am reminded of the quote “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” attributed to the 18^th Century philosopher Edmund Burke. We need to keep moving towards ‘Jesus. Sitting still is not an option. A fish needs to keep swimming against the current if it is to maintain its position, let alone if it wants to actually swim upstream.

How do we keep on ‘swimming’?

6. Jesus had already told Peter to come to him. Just as on other occasions – for example, when there was another storm after Jesus had told the disciples that they were all going to cross over the lake – Jesus had said, ‘This is what we’re going to do, chaps.’

Like Peter, we allow circumstances to tell us otherwise.

Why do we do that? 

We have to get OUT of the boat otherwise we have no chance of walking on water. Jesus makes us many promises but we often fail to believe them. Promises such as ‘I am with you always,’ – but we don’t always believe or act as if that is true.

We cling to the ‘boat’  - the known, however inadequate or unhealthy or unsafe, seems a better choice than believing Jesus when he says ‘come’.

Getting out of the boat is rather like learning to skate: you have to let go of the sides of the rink to experience skating, balancing on your feet instead of clinging with your hands.

It is RISKY. Getting out of the boat – facing a new challenge – will always have an element of fear, that ‘heart in mouth’ feeling before we realise that we are in fact skating freely, ‘walking on water’. (John Ortberg, p21.)

However, getting ‘out of the boat’ is also HABIT FORMING. Once we’ve done it once, it’s easier. It enables us to ‘bank’ memories of God’s leading and power. We did it once, so we can do it again...

It also EQUIPS US TO DEAL WITH FAILURE.

Did Peter fail?

Yes – he didn’t get to Jesus.

No – he DID get out of the boat and he DID start to move towards Jesus and he DID let Jesus save him.  SUCCESS!

Let us be encouraged by Peter’s example. Peter connected with Jesus. So can we.

I am struck by the unexpectedness of this encounter.

The unusual

1.      Timing. It was the middle of the night.

2.      Life circumstances. At their worst.

3.      In the middle of obeying. Doing the will of God.

4.      When we’re not expecting him.

5.      Place.

Not at the synagogue – church.

Nor on the mountainside – on a spiritual retreat

Nor on a journey – a pilgrimage

Nor at the temple – New Wine worship or prayer ministry

Nor during quiet prayer times.

In the midst of difficulties.

Are we ready?

Grace - and failure

I was as good as dead because of my sin.

I used to live a life of self-indulgence. 
I am not alone, but that does not help me to know that.
I am responsible for my actions.
But God has given me LIFE.
LIFE.
Not just life, but LIFE in all its fullness: life of out of this world joy.
Life full of grace - because of one amazing man. One Jesus.
This is a true gift - not because I am worth being given to but because God is the great Giver. Nor is it because of anything I have done.
There is no room for pride. No room. For. Pride. None.
Knowing this, yet still finding it hard, at times, to live victoriously in the knowledge of God's saving grace, I find this week that I need to remind myself of this poem:

Running the Race
Whenever I start to hang my head in front of failure's face,

my downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.
A children's race, young boys, young men; how I remember well,
excitement sure, but also fear, it wasn't hard to tell.

They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race
or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.
Their parents watched from off the side, each cheering for their son,
and each boy hoped to show his folks that he would be the one.

The whistle blew and off they flew, like chariots of fire,
to win, to be the hero there, was each young boy's desire.
One boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd,
was running in the lead and thought "My dad will be so proud."

But as he speeded down the field and crossed a shallow dip,
the little boy who thought he'd win, lost his step and slipped.
Trying hard to catch himself, his arms flew everyplace,
and midst the laughter of the crowd he fell flat on his face.

As he fell, his hope fell too; he couldn't win it now.
Humiliated, he just wished to disappear somehow.
But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face,
which to the boy so clearly said, "Get up and win that race!"

He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit that's all,
and ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,
his mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again.

He wished that he had quit before with only one disgrace.
"I'm hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn't try to race."
But through the laughing crowd he searched and found his father's face
with a steady look that said again, "Get up and win that race!"

So he jumped up to try again, ten yards behind the last.
"If I'm to gain those yards," he thought, "I've got to run real fast!"
Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight, then ten...
but trying hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.

Defeat! He lay there silently. A tear dropped from his eye.
"There's no sense running anymore! Three strikes I'm out! Why try?
I've lost, so what's the use?" he thought. "I'll live with my disgrace."
But then he thought about his dad, who soon he'd have to face.

"Get up," an echo sounded low, "you haven't lost at all,
for all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
Get up!" the echo urged him on, "Get up and take your place!
You were not meant for failure here! Get up and win that race!"

So, up he rose to run once more, refusing to forfeit,
and he resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn't quit.
So far behind the others now, the most he'd ever been,
still he gave it all he had and ran like he could win.

Three times he'd fallen stumbling, three times he rose again.
Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.
They cheered another boy who crossed the line and won first place,
head high and proud and happy -- no falling, no disgrace.

But, when the fallen youngster crossed the line, in last place,
the crowd gave him a greater cheer for finishing the race.
And even though he came in last with head bowed low, unproud,
you would have thought he'd won the race, to listen to the crowd.

And to his dad he sadly said, "I didn't do so well."
"To me, you won," his father said. "You rose each time you fell."
And now when things seem dark and bleak and difficult to face,
the memory of that little boy helps me in my own race.

For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all.
And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
And when depression and despair shout loudly in my face,
another voice within me says, "Get up and win that race!"

by D. H. Groberg

May I always see my Father's face.

A reflection on the Good Morning Girls study on Ephesians - Chapter 2 this week...

Perfectionism

There’s a Faith Jam going on today over at Bonnie’s blog on perfectionism.

Perfectionism. What an ugly word.

The world worships it.

We Christians must renounce it.

Perfectionism means I must ALWAYS be right, ALWAYS be perfect.

My life must reflect perfection or it loses worth.

My work must be completely fulfilling; my life full of marvellous friends and adoring relations; my home spotless and beautifully decorated and my menus delicious and apparently effortlessly planned; my appearance flawless.

I cannot allow any imperfection, defect or fault to exist in my life.

So career moves must ALWAYS be ideal: if they are not, my life is ruined.

Relational problems are always the other person’s fault, never mine.

Anything not quite up to ‘magazine standard’ in my home is explained away as a temporary glitch as I plan the next home move or redecorating project.

Any flaws in hair, clothes or make-up will be quickly rectified.

I am perfect.

Of course, I won’t say I am. I will excuse any sense of stress or appearance of becoming – oh, ever so slightly of course – uptight with a sweet little smile and the explanation: “I am a perfectionist, you know,” as I flutter my eyelashes in demure modesty.

This is wrong.

Perfectionism DEMANDS perfection. It cannot accept ‘pretty good’ or ‘almost there’ – it must have EVERYTHING. It is all about ME and ignores others. It depletes others of energy, burdening them with the demand that they recognise how wonderful I am – or would be, if circumstances/other people had not ‘done something’ to cause me to be slightly less than completely marvellous.

Perfectionism is an ugly word. We must see it for what it is, and renounce it. Admitting mistakes and failure is the open door to true spiritual growth.

Psalm 51:16-18 (The Message) says

Going through the motions doesn't please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you.
   I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered.
   Heart-shattered lives ready for love don't for a moment escape God's notice. 

Or, in the NIV:

My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.

We need to be broken. We need to fail. We need to make mistakes. We need NOT to be perfect.

PS Attaining perfection is indeed to work towards becoming all we are meant to be, while acknowledging that we are not yet there...we mess up.

Understanding this is complicated, even paradoxical. I should probably have started with the dictionary definition of perfect: complete, not deficient, faultless.  PERFECTIONISM is the UNCOMPROMISING pursuit of excellence: to me, perfectionism does not allow for mistakes.  The repercussions of perfectionism on our relationships with others – family, friends, neighbours, colleagues, God – are countless. I aim to improve, I work towards becoming better, but it is only Jesus who can make me truly perfect. 

A kind friend has sent  this link to John Wesley's sermon on being perfect...

Honesty

I've just read a quite totally inspiring blog entry from Can't Cook a Lick.  I loved this. I'd just been thinking about blogging on honesty, and being real, thinking specifically about how unwittingly I present myself as 'together' on my blog and in my life when in reality there is a lot of mess:  those who I've loved and lost; those I have hurt and have hurt me; those whom I have judged...I could go on. And on.

It's quite hard to live with relationship failure, isn't it?