humility. not even a capital letter for the word.

1 Peter 5:5 

In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,

“God opposes the proud
but shows favor to the humble.” (Proverbs 3:34: 

He mocks proud mockers but shows favor to the humble and oppressed; The Lord sneers at those who sneer at him, but he is kind to everyone who is humble; He gives proud skeptics a cold shoulder,
but if you’re down on your luck, he’s right there to help.

v.35 Wise living gets rewarded with honour; stupid living gets the booby prize. What is wise living? In this context, it seems to be living humbly. Perhaps what Andy Stanley talks about when he asks: In the light of your past experiences, your present circumstances and your future hopes and dreams...what is the WISE thing to do?

Clothe myself with humility. Humility is not my natural state and so I need to acquire and wear it. I can't wait for someone else to give it to me, either as a new present or as one of their cast-offs; no, I need to buy it. And second-hand garments of humility won't do, either: I have to buy new and, sometimes, expensively. Humility can be very, very costly.

So how do I shop for humility? 

Love, not 'works'

"the great truth that if once a man gets it into his head that God’s principal relation to him is to demand, and to command, you will get no work out of that man; that such a notion will paralyse all activity and cut the nerve of all service. And the converse is as true, namely, that the one thought about God, which is fruitful of all blessing, joy, spontaneous, glad activity, is the thought of Him as giving, and not of demanding, of bestowing, and not of commanding. Teach a man that he is, as the book of James has it,’the giving God,’ and let that thought soak into the man’s heart and mind, and you will get any work out of him. And only when that thought is deep in the spirit will there be true service." Comment on 2 Peter 1, Maclaren's commentary.

Grace, not works.

Receiving love, not trying to earn it.

Gratitude, not guilt.

Imperfect imperfect IMPERFECT

I love reading Christian blogs. I love gaining wisdom and perception from many, many gifted writers: the favourites whose blogs I subscribe to and whose writing I return to again and again; the new writers I find linked to others. So much wisdom, so many gifted people. Wonderful. Inspiring.

I try to do good. I try to live as a 'Jesus girl', to quote Lysa TerKeurst. I aspire to obedience to the gospel in the bigness and littleness - mostly the littleness - of life.

But every so often, I find myself wondering whether those who write feel as I do. When I am encouraged to befriend a stranger, do a kindness for a neighbour, share the gospel with a colleague..sometimes, often, I feel incapable of doing anything.

Because 'my sin is always before me'. I feel as if I can only 'do good' when I FEEL good. When I am not unhappy, or harbour resentment and feelings of revenge...

And yet. And yet. So often this week I am reminded that I am broken. I am in the process of being mended, but, this side of heaven, I am not perfect and am still broken.

My strength is in my vulnerability and honesty about my brokenness.

God is in control

1 Peter 5:10 - 11 But God shows undeserved kindness to everyone. That’s why he appointed Christ Jesus to choose you to share in his eternal glory. You will suffer for a while, but God will make you complete, steady, strong, and firm.
God will be in control forever! Amen.

Thinking this morning about Joseph, and how God used his sufferings for great good. How he learned forgiveness and humility; living an upright life.

Difficult to learn without suffering.

My prayer is that I accept the 'suffering' I go through (which is not much, really: just loss of pride and reputation; loss of friendships and relationships; loss of confidence...) rather than trying to control my circumstances to suit myself.

And perhaps I can begin to pray Jennie Allen's prayer 'anything':

Anything. God. Anything.
And in that one little word we turned in everything for God’s anything.
Every dream for our lives.
Every dollar and possession.
Every safety and comfort.
Every person’s approval.
Every ambition.
Everything.

And we opened our entire lives up to anything God had for us.
Any risk.
Any country.
Any act of obedience.
Any dream God had for us.
Anything.

And Christine Caine: He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. — Psalm 147:3

I had to tackle many challenges from my past in order to step into my God-given destiny. I was left in a hospital unnamed and unwanted when I was born and am living proof that no matter how you start in life, you can take charge of your life and run to win. We do not need to live like victims; rather we can appropriate the truth of the Word of God in every area of our lives and experience complete healing and wholeness.

If I had not allowed God’s Word to bring healing into my life, I would not be fulfilling my destiny now. Despite having the God-given gifts and talents that I needed, I was so weak emotionally that my soul would not allow me to go where my gifts could take me. It was crucial that I dealt with all the areas of brokenness in my heart.

Our inner world totally affects our outer world. If there is a disparity between what’s going on inside our hearts and what’s happening in our external world, we will eventually implode; our lives will break down or blow up. The Bible is full of examples of people who did not run their race and finish their course because they did not deal with issues of their soul.

Ensure that you allow God to work deeply in you so that he is able to work powerfully through you.
Moment of Reflection

Is your inner world affecting your outer world in positive or negative ways?

Fighting back

1 Peter 5:8 - 9: Be alert and of sober mind.Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lionlooking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him,standing firm in the faith,because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

I wish I would remember this more often. Because when I flounder in anxious thoughts, hurt feelings or even physical difficulties, I forgot where my trouble comes from.

Sin   And the devil. A malevolent being who wishes none other but my discouragement and destruction.

And so I need to remember this. BE ALERT AND OF SOBER MIND. Watch out. Keep a clear head. The cry of the shepherd when the lion is about to attack the flock, the shout of the watchman on the walls who sees the enemy approaching.

The enemy? Manifested in...

• anxious thoughts
• feelings of depression
• low spirits
• discouragement
• a sense of isolation
• doubt and despair...

Nothing, of course, in comparison to the extreme physical persecution which so many believers are undergoing in other parts of the world, especially the Middle East. 

But a reminder to me to look out, beyond myself, forgetting myself. To 'fix my eyes on Jesus,the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross,scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Humble yourself

1 Peter 5:6 - 7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you....So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you.

He is most careful of me.

Reading Bridget Plass's book 'The Apple of His Eye', she reminds me of how urgently Jesus wants me to know that the Father loves me. ME. I am the apple of his eye, a treasured possession...

Talking this morning about life's failures and disappointments, I am reminded again that God just wants my 'holy' above all else. And if I have to be humbled to get that 'holy', and if being humbled doesn't, at the time, make me happy - well, that is OK.

Indeed, how could being humbled make me happy? Who, in their right mind, likes to be humiliated? Even the thought of it makes my insides cringe. 

So if I can be humble to avoid being humiliated...well, that sounds like a GOOD THING.

Make every effort

1 Peter 5:5  In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you,  with humility toward one another, because,
“God opposes the proud
but shows favour to the humble.”

I had misread the reference and thought I was looking at 2 Peter 1:5 which begins 'make every effort'...
Suitable, I had thought. I had woken up weary, having to remind myself to 'live joyfully' and 'make every effort' to live a life pleasing to Jesus, rather than dragging myself up.

But this verse also reminds me to 'make every effort'. To make an effort to be submissive to my leaders and to be humble towards others. I love where Paul says in the Scriptures
'clothe yourselves'...

clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh. Romans 13:14

For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.” 1 Corinthians 15:53 - 54

Meanwhile we groan,longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. 2 Corinthians 5:2 - 4

for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. Galatians 3:27

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12

And so, as I get up, somewhat weary and discouraged, I can remind myself to 'clothe myself' with Christ, above all his humility. Today, this morning, I don't need to 'make EVERY effort', although later I will. I need to get up, get dressed, and clothe myself with Christ. 

Then, and only then, will I be able to live my life out in the good and certain knowledge of his will. 
Starting with being humble towards others.

Take care of others

"Just as shepherds watch over their sheep, you must watch over everyone God has placed in your care. Do it willingly in order to please God, and not simply because you think you must. Let it be something you want to do, instead of something you do merely to make money. Don’t be bossy to those people who are in your care, but set an example for them. When God, who is the best shepherd of all, comes out in the open with his rule, he’ll see that you’ve done it right and commend you lavishly."

Oh dear. Shock horror. It's not about me - it's about serving and looking after other people. Watching over everyone God has put in my care. Willingly.

So...

No picking and choosing who I should look after- it's EVERYONE in my care.

No picking and choosing when I should look after those in my care - it's ALL THE TIME.

No picking and choosing where I should look after those in my care -it's ANYWHERE.

Moses - and all those others in Hebrews 11 - chose, by faith, the hard way. The way of rejection and failure, to be chosen by God as leader of the Hebrews. He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward...He chose a hard life with God’s people rather than an opportunistic soft life of sin with the oppressors. He valued suffering in the Messiah’s camp far greater than Egyptian wealth because he was looking ahead, anticipating the payoff.

Letting go...

This is a season, for me, of long distance grief. A friend who lives thousands of miles away is in the last few days of her life, as her dear husband and family and friends accompany her on the last steps of her journey to heaven. I know she will be with Jesus soon, but, I regret to acknowledge, that barely lessens the pain.

Indeed, I almost feel guilty. As if the 'joy set before' her should obliterate the pain of suffering and all that accompanies dying.

It doesn't. While death itself holds no fear for a Christian, it is the process of getting there that is so painful for us all, dying or living. As Woody Allen said: “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”

(And I wonder if more has been written about death - the only certainty in life - than about anything else except, perhaps, love, which is the most important thing in life. Because Jesus IS love.)

I am far away. Lyn is - was, perhaps, even as I write - a dear friend who reached out to all who knew her with love. I didn't know her well enough, close enough, dearly enough to comprehend the completeness of her love, but feel privileged to be journeying with her, albeit at a distance, in these last times of her life on earth.

But it hurts. And if it hurts for me, I can not even BEGIN to imagine how it hurts for her beloved husband and family.

And once again, I live, uncomfortably, with the reminder that life on earth is temporary. 
I live with fear and apprehension.
Fear of loss.
Fear of suffering.
Fear of grief.

i have not fully grasped the 'joy set before' me.

So I know that, in fact, the only way out is to pursue knowing and loving God. It is only in the struggle and the rest and the silence and the talking that I can begin to grasp how 'wide and long and high and deep' is Christ's love for me and mine and all those others.

As Whitney says: "We crave happy. He craves holy."

I need to keep a perspective. That death is not a 'storm of life'. It is not trouble that comes when we don't expect it, a difficulty to surmount or work through.

Death is an inevitability, to be accepted, planned for, embraced.

Life is to be lived in preparation for death.

And so I know - oh how I KNOW - that Lyn has done this. I think of others who have gone before and shown the way, too.

And I am encouraged to "Run to God’s Word. Look for opportunities to see God at work. Pray, expecting to hear from heaven. Tell about God’s faithfulness. Commit to the process, knowing that He who started a good work in you will be faithful to complete it…"

I am still puzzled as to how we can hold pain and joy in our hearts simultaneously. Bittersweet does not even come near it.
I fear to write a comment on Lyn's facebook page - who knows which words will be helpful and which will cause more harm?
All I can do is pray for comfort and ease and close encounter with our Lord.

Seeking God in difficult times.

1 Peter 4:15 - 19

" If you’re abused because of Christ, count yourself fortunate. It’s the Spirit of God and his glory in you that brought you to the notice of others. If they’re on you because you broke the law or disturbed the peace, that’s a different matter. But if it’s because you’re a Christian, don’t give it a second thought. Be proud of the distinguished status reflected in that name!...
So if you find life difficult because you’re doing what God said, take it in stride. Trust him. He knows what he’s doing, and he’ll keep on doing it."

"God will bless you, if you don't give up when your faith is being tested. He will reward you with a glorious life, just as he rewards everyone who loves him."

When I am abused...and I haven't done anything bad...it is because of Christ.

I can pray.

When my faith is tested...and I am tempted to give up, give in...

I can pray.

When I find life difficult...and I feel far from God...

I can pray.

It all comes back to Jesus.

Bonnie Gray talks about How to Pray Even When You Don't Feel Like It: “Let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair.” K. Chesterton 

To pray. To draw close to God. To get up 'while it is still dark and go to a solitary place'.

To cling to Him, like Jacob, and be blessed.