In a world of upheaval - where even in Kenya, where I lived a simpler life and grieve its memories, people where masks and no longer shake hands in warm greeting - I mourn small, personal losses.
Fractured friendships. One of the greatest pains. Bible verses giving advice, encouragement and exhortation on how to restore relationships, yet the broken is the norm. I know in my head that the only friendship to be truly relied on is with Jesus, yet my heart longs for better here and grieves the lost. Singing praise and worship refocuses on Who is most important and heals the hurt - a little.
Yet, deep buried in my heart, far away from rational mind and will, I know l have to do more. Turning my eyes upon Jesus puts all in perspective, yet I know that my part in my healing requires work. From me.
Just hiding the dirty linen in the laundry basket doesn't get it clean.
So, with Jesus's help, I need to turn over the stone, examine the stained garments, pull the broken griefs out of the rubbish bin and get cleaning and repairing.
And, first, that means taking a good, hard look at the faults and failures, fin and selfishness that had coloured my past, stains my present and shadows my future.
Time to mourn. Time to properly acknowledge all those icky feelings. Time to get angry. and deal with it.
Only with God's help can I succeed.
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