Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Love - the feeling


Love - thefeeling - washes over me suddenly
taking my face by surprise
as eyes crinkle, mouth smiles,
cheeks crease
with present appreciation
and remembered laughter.
Love - thefeeling - grows warm gratitude deep within,
within my heart-and-stomach.
Love-and-gratitude for sonsanddaughters,
brothersandsisters
who live Christlives
in everyday-daily-service.
Rejoice, mysoul, rejoice, rejoice.

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Lord of ALL the earth...Colossians 1:15-16

Colossians 1:15-16
The Message: We look at this Son and see the God who cannot be seen. We look at this Son and see God’s original purpose in everything created. For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank after rank of angels—everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him. Reminds me of Phil Wickham's song: 
At Your name, the mountains shake and crumble
At Your name, the oceans roar and tumble
At Your name, angels will bow, the earth will rejoice
Your people cry out

Lord of all the earth
We shout Your name, shout Your name
Filling up the skies
With endless praise, endless praise
Yahweh, Yahweh
We love to shout Your name, oh Lord

At Your name, the morning breaks in glory
At Your name, creation sings Your story
At Your name, angels will bow, the earth will rejoice
Your people cry out

Lord of all the earth
We shout Your name, shout Your name
Filling up the skies
With endless praise, endless praise
Yahweh, Yahweh
We love to shout Your name, oh Lord

There is no one like our God
We will praise You, praise You
There is no one like our God
We will sing, we will sing..





Monday, 24 September 2012

To the holy and faithful...Colossians 1:1 - 14

To the holy and faithful
be grace and peace.
For the holy and faithful
we thank God.
In the holy and faithful
faith and love spring from hope.

Hope in Heaven, waiting.
Hope on earth, already heard in the word of truth.

To the holy and faithful
good news has come.
From the holy and faithful
the good news is growing.
In the holy and faithful
the good news produces good,

God's good gift
of grace understood.

And so...

we do not stop praying for you.
we keep asking God to fill you
with knowledge of His will
through spiritual wisdom
through godly understanding.

So that...

you and I may live worthy lives
you and I may live Jesus-pleasing lives.
you and I may give Him pleasure.
you and I may produce good results in everything we do.
you and I may grow in knowledge.
you and I may be strengthened with power, GOD's mighty power.
you and I may have endurance
you and I may have patience
you and I may give THANKS WITH JOY.

FOR YOU AND I ARE SAFE IN GOD'S KINGDOM.
RESCUED, REDEEMED, FORGIVEN!

Thursday, 30 August 2012

God will make a way

Remember the song by Don Moen: God will make a way... ? The lyrics go like this:
God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me

He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way

Do I believe it? It doesn't feel like it when I'm at the end of my rope, the end of the road, staring down a dark blind alley...I know I am still on the road - I haven't wandered off into the bushes. I can look behind and see how far I have come. That is encouraging and affirming.
Yet when I try to gaze forward into the murk, my heart cries and wails like a baby that it can't SEE. My brain starts to shout like a toddler: I WANT I WANT I WANT! I WANT to know what's going to happen. I WANT to know that things will turn out well.
My DEMANDS blind me to God's purposes.
Then they blind me to God himself.
I am in grave danger. Danger of losing belief in a good God and good, great purposes.
I stand on the edge of Unbelief. Then my eyes open and I see the danger, and I am terrified.
I can't see the good that is coming but I have a horrendously clear view of the bad.
I squeeze my eyes shut. I turn to the Bible. I listen to the Spirit. I cry out to Jesus.

Deidra, blogging over at The Middle, has great insights about delays. About how setbacks are set ups for something better when it seems that life has stopped. As she says: 'That thing that’s become stale, that place with no forward movement, that dream you’ve let die because it didn’t look like anything was happening—those are the places He’s working on. He’s stopped traffic now to create safer, easier, better travel later. Don’t get all worked up and overheated. Don’t assume that because you’re still now you won’t be moving later. He is always working on our behalf—in ways we can’t see, in places we don’t understand. He hasn’t forgotten you; He knows right where you are. He has gone before you to prepare the way.

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. – Isaiah 43:19 (NIV)'
  So I HAVE to believe because I cannot see. I have to have that 'teetering on the edge, heart in mouth' feeling to really believe.

I need to feel like that. I need belief, not sight. I need faith. In God's ways, not mine.

At the moment I'm in one of those places where it seems as if I'm not moving at all because the way in front is dark. It's not physically life-threatening, like cancer. It's not emotionally devastating, like a relationship break-up.
It is spiritually debilitating. I am in a dry place where there are no flowing streams or gushing springs, not even a trickle of run-off between rocks. Just a couple of muddy puddles and marshy places where the air  is stagnant. A place where I am trying to dig a well, building into lives which have not tasted living water.
It seems as if there is no one to give me a drink as I labour, growing increasingly thirsty.

Don Moen's song continues:
By a roadway in the wilderness, He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and Earth will fade but His Word will still remain
And He will do something new today

So as I believe in Him, in His goodness, in His promises, as I trustingly put my hand in His to lead me forward, HE will lead me along the road and HE will open my eyes to the water flowing in others' lives. It is not my labour that will refresh them, it is not for me to feel the burden of well-digging or to exhaust myself in doing.

I need to remember that I am not Mrs Fix-It-All but Miss Obedient-to-God.

What does the end of your road look like? Can you take that step into the darkness? Can I?

 This is the link to Bonnie's inspirational post on this topic.






Monday, 27 August 2012

Hazardous discipleship. Risky obedience.



I don't consider myself as living dangerously. A comfortable Western life style, where the only danger in my life is whether my bicycle might come into contact with a car during the few miles of my daily (slow) commute.

So I didn't consider that even my faith might be hazardous until I read Lisa's link up post in response to Ed's new book.

Leaving her church was hazardous. Wow! Me too!

I didn't, perhaps foolishly, consider the hazards and dangers when my husband and I responded to a call to leave our (very comfortable) church home to go to help out at a tiny, traditional, Anglican church.

I am shocked to discover that it has already been three years since we did so. Even though two years ago I blogged about our struggles there, and last year had even more encouragement, this 'new' church life still seems hazardous...

I know that 'going' to church is to meet together with others to praise and worship God, and to encourage each other, as it says in Hebrews 10:25 Yet I find that, even setting my mind and heart to worship God, the music does not encourage me to do so. I can't sing very well, so struggling to sing ancient hymns with a handful of people who hear every wrong note is an ordeal. After the service ends, the majority of the congregation escape quickly from the (thousand year old) building. A few stay for coffee, and they are the 'church' we are trying to build into.

It doesn't feel particularly risky - not in an adrenaline-fuelled fear type of way. The danger is more insidious.

I risk losing my joy in worship, so much so that now, though initially I listened to modern worship songs at home, I struggle to regain my joy.

I risk losing my joy in fellowship. Interactions with others at church - many of whom seem to be more interested in the church fabric and infrastructure than in living lives as disciples of Christ - can be draining.

I'm teetering on the brink.

So this idea of 'hazardous faith' has had the effect of alarming me, opening my eyes to the dangers. I hover on the edge, gazing into a pit of Apathy and Discouragement.

Adrenaline kicks in. I open my eyes, ears and heart to worship. I look at nature, I listen to worship music, I read the Bible more, I follow Christian blogs. I gain joy from good, God-centred conversations over coffee - at church and at other times too.

So I echo the Psalmist:
But may all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who long for your saving help always say,
“The Lord is great!”
But as for me, I am poor and needy;
come quickly to me, O God.
You are my help and my deliverer;
Lord, do not delay.

Living the Life. Hazardously.

I shared My Hazardous Faith Story as part of a synchroblog connected with the release of Ed Cyzewski and Derek Cooper’s new bookHazardous: Committing to the Cost of Following Jesus.
Read others' insight into costly discipleship at In a Mirror Dimly here.

Thursday, 23 August 2012

A letter...


Dear God,
I'm trying this - writing a letter to you - because Bonnie has asked me to.  Her blog always inspires and challenges me, so I try to respond when I can.
This letter feels as if it should be a book.
It's simply this:
How do I live the life you want?
I've just re-read Ian Morgan Cron's Chasing Francis, about St Francis of Assisi.  I've been reminded of the necessity and benefits of living a simple life. Frugality, simplicity, generosity, humility, grace, freedom...
And I look at my life.
I look.
I see attempts to live simply.
I see an endeavour to be generous.
I see a gaining, sometimes, in humility.
I see a small devotion to things of you: to encouragement from others, mainly through writings; to worship music; to calls to prayer.
Most of these things exist outside of my 'church' life.
My church to which I am called meets in an ancient building once a week. It sits mostly in silence apart from prescribed responses. Words of hymns, sometimes choruses, substitute for worship.  A small part of my church meets with me after the ritualistic liturgy is completed, even, at times, over a cup of coffee.
I love the people of my church. I crave to live with them in a way which would honour you.
Yet our church life is confined to an hour on a Sunday, if that.
I long to live in and with my church, so that my world life is not separate. I long to 'be' church to others.
But how?
Answers on a postcard, please.
Love from Angie

PS Two answers come to mind:

1.  Hebrews 12:2 'Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.'
2. The prayer of St Francis:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.


Probably enough.

Sunday, 19 August 2012

Clearing out the junk...

Loved this post from cantcookalick - about clearing out junk: "I’m a stuffer. I don’t deal with things at the moment. I find a way to laugh when I want to cry and stuff the problem way down deep. I will deal with it later. Why waste an opportunity to laugh? So, down to the basement it goes. Until someone finds the way through the door and stands in the middle of my junk and says, “Why do you keep all this stuff?”
That happened recently.
Scared me to death. Honestly, I didn’t even know half of that junk was down there.  I braved the walk down the stairs and took a look around. What I found was not pretty. Old emotions that were yellowed and worn. Hurt that was quietly growing in the corner. A past that no longer fit the woman I am trying to be. Space that was created for more. Cluttered by the less than life.
Everything in me wanted to run away, back to the safety and laughter of today and slam the door, lock it tight. But, that’s the problem. Stuff in the basement is not out of sight out of mind. It is always looming like a tenant that shows up just when you want to be alone. The noise that interrupts your quiet. The darkness that threatens your light.
Sometimes, it takes somebody surprising you and showing up in your basement, to realize you need to tidy up a bit. The trust issues that block the door lose the fight and your junk makes it’s way to the top floor.
Some people will judge your junk. Others will pilfer through it and try to find something they can use. Most will run away and be frightened by your junk. A few may even try to bring over some of their junk.
But, God loves me and all my junk. Especially that which I’ve tried to hide in a blue Rubbermaid tote in the corner. He’s not afraid to lift the lid. Honestly, he already knows what’s in there. And, He’s willing to help me and you sort through and decide what goes and what stays.
But, you gotta open the door…"

So we're talking about REAL junk. Hurt growing in hidden corners. Boxes labelled Unforgiveness. Piles of  perfectionism. Anger gathering dust in the corners. The mouldy smell of bitterness...

A talk in church this morning centred on how many of the Pharisees and even the disciples didn't 'get' Jesus. They just didn't understand where He was coming from, what he was talking about, let alone his mission to bring the kingdom of God to his people...

I'm no different. I often don't 'get' Jesus. I don't 'get' how to walk the walk, how to live the way he showed and taught me.  But I do know that my junk clutters up any little glimmer of heart-understanding I might have. And I do know that not only do I need to clear the junk out, I need to beef up my housekeeping with regular cleaning...

Saturday, 11 August 2012

The Small Things That Keep Me Close...

Sarah Markley has just written another wonderful little bit of inspiration. Pay attention to the words she puts in bold, and especially this latter part of her post:

"When I don’t feel like reading the Bible and I go months and months without cracking its pages, I seem to fall back to prayer and meditation like they are old friends. The idea of studying a child’s laughter or why a bird builds a nest near my dining room window comes easier to me because I’ve done it before and God has spoken to me through these things. I’ve practiced it with my own hands. The years when sermons seem dry and Bible studies bore are the years I find myself picking out a single verse and meditating on it over a kitchen sink full of dishes, my arms half deep in the soap. And to be alone, to be silent in communion with God is ever preferable to me over many other things.
I’m not at all against church. I love church and I love my church very much.
But at the end of it all, it won’t matter what church we’ve gone to or how many women’s Bible studies we’ve attended.
It will matter, I believe, how we let Him infuse our days with Himself and how we allow ourselves to be taught by the little, beautiful things in life. And I think it will matter, at the end, how we choose to live with Jesus every day.
What are the small things that keep you close to or bring you back to Jesus? How have you seen God in daily life lately?"
Encouragement to keep close...

Monday, 6 August 2012

A confession...


I began to blog partly out of a need to reference inspirational articles. I needed somewhere to store them where I could retrieve them when I needed to. Often, I think I'd be best off just 're-publishing' - rather like 'retweeting' - every inspirational blog I read. Don't really need to blog myself when there is such wonderful stuff out there.
Today was one such day. A hiccupy, teary, 'whoops' day which reminded me of the need to receive encouragement, to store it on my blog as well as on my heart - because I forget too easily. A day when I needed to read this.
Several months of stress - husband ill, a  busy school year, adult children flown the nest, unkindness from a friend resulting in the loss of friendship (her choice, not mine), and struggling to serve out of my comfort zone in a small traditional church - have left me tired and surprisingly lonely. I have much to be thankful for and to take joy in - my husband's health is now under control and he is back at work, and I am enjoying the summer break from school, to mention just a couple of lesseners of stress - but I have found social interaction hard work. I've felt alone, even worthless, and my joy seems to have disappeared. For today, anyway.
So Ayla's words of encouragement were very timely. A good reminder that I cannot - must not - depend on circumstances or others for my joy.
I pray that I learn the lesson PROPERLY in my heart.
Then there was double whoops, as I was reminded to 'look to Christ and remember just how precious I am in His eyes' over at Messy Marriage...
Hmmm... lessons to learn indeed.
(I'm thinking I may still be needing to add to this post...)

Thursday, 26 July 2012

Train up a child in the way he should go...a challenge for us all.

I had had this on my mind for a long time, when my study with GoodMorningGirls on the Proverbs 31 woman took me to this verse this week: Proverbs 22:6 "Point your kids in the right direction - when they're old they won't be lost. " (The Message). Indeed.


Please don’t look at the title and think ‘This won’t apply to me, I don’t have children.’  Yes, it does. Children are our future and we can all help them grow into the people God means them to become.

I was saddened recently when, at a wonderful local church conference, there were very few children. The event was held over a whole weekend and had carefully planned, age appropriate activities. The leaders were hugely creative and energetic: the children who joined in had a wonderful time. While the Sunday morning was well attended, the Saturday was not. Even a church known for its thriving children’s ministry had only a few children attend. I wondered why.

We are fortunate to live in a place where there are wonderful opportunities for people of every age. Thriving sports clubs; an active Music Centre where talents are developed; and a huge variety of other activities, from cooking to candlemaking, are all on offer. Weekends are VERY busy. Church is fitted in on Sundays around football practice and outings with the family. There is little – or no – time for anything extra.

Yet...where do priorities lie? Do we seek to teach our children how to put God first, when we choose a rugby match over worship, swimming club over walking on water, pantomimes over prayer?  I’m not suggesting that children should not develop their talent for sport, or music, or art and craft, but I do think we need to keep alert for opportunities where our children have the chance to meet with God.

As a teacher, I know how thirsty children are to experience God. A few months ago we hosted a Prayerspace in school. Over the two day period, the children crowded in at lunchtime, forgoing the chance to play football or run around outside. They pored over the prayers put up on sticky notes, chatted about how special they were in God’s eyes and sat thoughtfully in the ‘quiet tent’. A couple of weeks later, when I referred to the Prayerspace in assembly, there was the most incredible sigh of eager expectation from the whole school – a truly holy moment which I have never, in all my years of teaching, experienced.
Children long to know and have an encounter with God.

Now, before I go any further, I am well aware that, whatever we do or don’t do, ultimately a child’s decision whether or not to follow Jesus is entirely their choice. We cannot force, cajole or manipulate them to do so – temporarily, possibly, but not in any lasting way. There are many prodigal children of godly parents and we pray for their return. Nothing we can do will make them love God any more and nothing we can do will make them love God any less.

We can, however, encourage them. To paraphrase Romans 10:1, 13 – 14 (NIV):
‘...my heart’s desire and prayer to God for children is that they may be saved... for “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?’ And, may I add, how can the children be told about Jesus unless they are brought to places where his life is demonstrated and taught? (Emphasis mine)

Many churches have good children’s programmes running on Sunday mornings, with classes for all ages up to the teens. Often, all may be well until the age of 11. Then children may start to complain, dragging their heels so that it becomes harder for parents to take them. Eventually, as they enter their teens, children refuse to attend church. The primary school age is of tremendous importance, the best chance to “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6, NIV.)  Attending church every Sunday is a brilliant place to start, but we need to take every opportunity to encourage our children in the development of their faith.

Here are a few practical suggestions:

Put them in places where they can hear the Word  and experience the Holy Spirit. This is, obviously, Sunday school or children’s church on a Sunday morning.
Vacation Bible school – holiday clubs at half terms and during the holidays are wonderful opportunities. Many churches organise these, either themselves or booking a visiting team. If your church doesn’t have anything like this but other churches in the area do, take your children along. Or perhaps get a team of like-minded folk and organise one yourself – even two or three days long. There are numerous resources available to help you.

Age doesn’t matter: children are never too young to experience God. We need only to look at how John the Baptist ‘leapt in his mother’s womb’ when he recognized Jesus, or to Samuel when he heard God calling him in the night. I was privileged to serve on the team for 3 – 4 year olds at one of the New Wine summer conferences: we were soon reminded that God’s spirit is not confined to age, as these tiny children prayed for each other and their leaders, as a consequence of which we saw physical healing take place. Not only that: I was moved to tears as one mother related how the life of her three year old, as a result of attending the sessions for just one and a half hours a day for just five days, had completely turned around. This is not normal: this would not have happened in a day nursery: this is the Holy Spirit.

Encourage children by your example: Let them hear ‘God talk’ around meal times – don’t hide your faith from them but don’t be super spiritual either. Let them hear your prayers;  see you make your home group a priority above your own convenience; welcome friends and strangers into your home, hosting gatherings whenever you can. Inviting a missionary to a meal can have a powerful impact on your children as they listen to the discussion of the missionary’s work and calling.

Model to your children how much you value learning more about God. Apart from letting them see you study your Bible and pray, show your appreciation for their Sunday school teachers with an occasional gift, or discussing their teachers’ good qualities and hard work  over dinner.
  
Listen to the children when they talk to you and encourage them to ask you questions. Discussion helps develop their interest and understanding in a way that talks and sermons, however good they might be, cannot do.

Take them out of their comfort zone. Nowadays, children can sometimes be over-protected. We are so aware of health and safety in all aspects, particularly ‘stranger danger’, both physically and online, that we are careful to shield our children from anything which might be at all risky for them.
Yet we as adults know that faith is often spelt R.I.S.K. We need to make sure that our children are gently challenged to grow into faith and we can do this by taking them out of their comfort zones, with our loving support. Taking my children to a huge Christian conference was challenging for all of us, not just my children: it was the first time we had experienced worshipping with thousands of others. But it was also the first time that my daughter had a powerful experience with the Holy Spirit – before, even, than I myself. It was an experience which has stayed with her many years later.

Persevere with independence. If there is a child-friendly Christian event such as a conference or holiday club, but you don’t know anyone else attending: take your child anyway. Children may be a little nervous if they don’t know anyone to go with, but in my experience children’s leaders are so welcoming that children rapidly settle in and are more enthusiastic about returning the next day than adults would be. Don’t let them miss out because of initial nervousness.

Choose to act sacrificially.
Putting your child in a place where he or she has the opportunity to come closer to God comes at a cost: time, convenience, money – even status. For example, many parents sacrifice their holiday time to take their children to a Christian conference. This doesn’t quite have the same cachet as a week in Biarritz! Your colleagues or neighbours may think this very strange.
  
Challenge your children. A  dear friend related how Dawson Trotman, founder of the Navigators (renowned for its discipleship ministry and emphasis on memorizing Scripture) was visiting her parents. He asked her which Bible verses she knew – not many! She explained that she had a poor memory and couldn’t learn Bible verses. He then started chatting to her about the latest top music hits. She replied enthusiastically, reciting several of the lyrics. When Dawson Trotman gently showed her that she knew the lyrics well simply because she had listened to them over and over again, she realized that she could apply the same principle to learning the Bible and so developed a lifelong habit of memorization.

Encourage godly friendships. Invite other families over: for coffee, to lunch after church, planned or potluck. Make arrangements to do things with other families – pick things the children will enjoy!

Finally, for parents: be careful about the choices you give your children.
There have been several times when I did not allow my children to ‘opt out’ and God blessed them in an amazing way. Another friend, when her children started to complain about having to go to church on a Sunday, took them to a church with a less child-friendly program. Within a couple of weeks they started begging to go back to ‘their’ church and never looked back in their spiritual development. We need to listen to our children while not necessarily giving them whatever they want – we know the truth of this regarding diet, sleep and exercise and this applies to spiritual growth as well.  As adults, protecting  our children can mean saying ‘no’ at times. Choose their activities carefully, as far as you can. Make quite sure that you really do want your child to be a rugby star if  a commitment to Sunday morning practices means that they will not be able to go to church. You may have the chance to attend church on a Sunday evening but, in my experience, evening services rarely cater for the under 11s.

What about older children and teens?
All is not lost! Volunteer to help and get them to come along with you. Although they won’t often admit it, teenagers love to hang around adults when they can listen to interesting conversations. They go through a ‘wallpaper’ phase – as silent as the walls but all eyes and ears. They soak up God talk without knowing it.

I feel passionately about our children’s spiritual development. My own children are now adults:  this has not diluted my eagerness that we should take every opportunity to encourage the children we know. Parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends, neighbours... one of my friends became a Christian because a neighbour first took her to church when she was two.  We should not forget that children are adults in the making: that our prayer for them should be that “ our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage their hearts and strengthen them in every good deed and word.”  (2 Thessalonians 2:16 – 17)
Let us remember that, unlike physical growth, our children’s spiritual growth doesn’t happen automatically – God has no grandchildren. We know this deep down but culture tries to tell us otherwise, with its individualistic emphasis on choice and freedom. Let’s take every chance we can to help our children make WISE choices so that they can find true freedom – in Jesus.


So I should finish by pointing you to much wiser sources of help and information in this parenting adventure: here is a link to Women Living Well - a list of recommended reading and a blogging gateway of endless tips and encouragement!


Also linking up with: 

Life In Bloom