Grace.
By the end of the story, tears bathing L's - and my - face, I felt anew the power of what God did for us.
I actually don't understand it. It's beyond my comprehension. And I realised that I can explain the story of the cross, I can go to relevant passages in Scripture, I can live my life as best I can in the knowledge that because Jesus saved me, I am his, and I want to go wherever he sends me...but I can't really understand it all with my mind or even my emotions.
It truly is a spirit thing.
And so, thinking of my dear friends and colleagues who, like Ashley, think I am slightly - or very - strange, I realise I cannot explain so they can understand. They will only 'get it' when they hear with their spirits, when they look for Jesus with heart spirit yearning, when they open spiritual hearts to feel his presence, when they experience his touch.
Jesus said 'This is why I speak to them in parables:
“Though seeing, they do not see;
though hearing, they do not hear or understand.
14 In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:
“‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding;
you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
15 For this people’s heart has become calloused;
they hardly hear with their ears,
and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.' Matthew 13:13-15
I get that now.
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