Reflection on the New Year – January 2018

The old year has gone, yet I’ve hardly noticed. I am already so ensconced in the ‘new’ one that it already seems old. Barely just over half way through the first month, and it feels as if we have been in 2018 for EVER.

Yet, I carry within me the memories and habits of an old year. I wonder how – if – they will become ‘new’; or will I just carry on doing the same old, same old?

So I look back, again, at the ‘old’. The old year was full of friendship and fun but also, if I am honest, what seems like a lot of STRIVING.  What seems like a lot of Hard Work.

For I value friends and family and the fun they bring more than I can say. Heart friends are in my DNA: I cannot live without them. I long to linger over dinner, share sorrows in cups of tea or glasses of wine, giggle with glee and a cup of cold coffee... and make opportunities for this to happen. I invite and arrange and organise.

I find it hard to just BE.

I suspect many of us are like this. Many of us are activitists and doers.  Go-getters and grabbers, snatching at snippets of socialization. Secretly dreading desertion or discouragement, refusals and rejection. Trying to make sure that we stay protected with others’ approval and love.

Unwilling to step out, only baring our souls in safety.

Nothing wrong with that, of course. We need to be wise who we share with, who we open up to. Yet, elusively, I can’t help feeling that I need to find a better way.

Bonnie Gray(Whispers of Rest)  writes in timely manner: “When you return to a place of peace in Jesus’ arms of love and complete understanding, your heart will open like petals to the sunlight. And in that place of rest, your heart will hear God’s gentle whisper to do as you feel prompted with His hand in yours. HIS LOVE WILL GIVE YOU COURAGE TO DO WHAT YOU MUST DO.”

Chrystal Evans Hurst has some wise words at www.incourage.me:

“I had to own my story in order to fix my story.

It takes one brave chick to admit that her life is not quite shaping up to be the life she envisioned. It takes courage to assess your disappointment, realize where you’ve been disenchanted, and identify the source of your distress.

It’s human nature to hide our shortcomings, disappointments, and mistakes. We tend to avoid the truth of our vulnerability, of our lack of control, of the pain of our predicament.

But without confession and admittance of pain, true restoration and healing cannot begin.

Can I encourage you to own your story? Will you choose to be honest about your pain and seek help and healing? As much as you may not want to stop or pause the ride of your life to do so, here’s what I can tell you for sure — whatever has happened in your life, good, bad, or ugly — you have survived. You are still here. Honor your life by being honest about your story and then taking brave steps to get whatever help you need to heal.”

I may not feel as if I need to ‘heal’, but I do. So looking back on the pain can prepare us for the future....

So...

REFLECT

REST

BE REVITALIZED

Let’s rediscover our gifts:

“One thing is for sure…God has created you with a distinct purpose in mind. He’s given you something only you can give to the world.

Friends, my prayer for you today is that you’ll begin to see the gifts inside you. That someone in your life will see those gifts in you and encourage you to share your gifts with others.

And if you see a hidden gem of beauty — a special gift — inside someone else, tell them today. Be the one who gives the gift of encouragement to those around you. Indeed, encouragement is one of the kindest gifts we can give.”  Denise J Hughes at Incourage.me

Too much...refocus

There has been too much going on in my head and heart for so long that I am really becoming #confused.com.

So some good reminders of who I am and what I am here for today: to glorify God through prayer and purpose.

This song has been running through my head, as I try, intentionally, to take Sabbath rest.

Take time to be holy,
speak oft with thy Lord;
abide in him always,
and feed on his word.
Make friends of God's children,
help those who are weak,
forgetting in nothing
his blessing to seek.

Take time to be holy,
the world rushes on;
spend much time in secret
with Jesus alone.
By looking to Jesus,
like him thou shalt be;
thy friends in thy conduct
his likeness shall see.

Take time to be holy,
let him be thy guide,
and run not before him,
whatever betide.
In joy or in sorrow,
still follow the Lord,
and, looking to Jesus,
still trust in his word.

Take time to be holy,
be calm in thy soul,
each thought and each motive
beneath his control.
Thus led by his spirit
to fountains of love,
thou soon shalt be fitted
for service above.

To be holy. To be other, to be set apart, to be focused.  These notes are from Louie Giglio's talk: 

Louie Giglio  http://passioncitychurch.com/watch/message/Msb63Y28jkBV                    

We all need direction and confidence. We all need to rest and consider what God has done.

God wants to fill me and send me out for a purpose for HIS glory. This is the mission of God, the BIG dream, for my life.

Before God wants to send me to the ends of the earth, he wants me to look back at what God has done.  GOD CAME THROUGH!  Remember the old ways... the things God has done.

Remembering gives confidence that God HAS done it and will do in the future: prevents arrogance (I can do it myself) and fear (I can’t do it).

God is amazing. He neither slumbers nor sleeps – he is working in the background while we sleep.  We need to take a Sabbath: rest, trust, cease... to put the dream in Jesus’ hands.  Be still and know that I am God..

If God gives me a dream, he will give me what I need to accomplish it.  What God calls me to, God provides for...what God plans for, God pays for...

I just need to remember. Remember WHO God is, WHAT his purposes are. Remember To be holy. To be other, to be set apart, to be focused. Remember to take Sabbath rest and to refocus.

Intentionally focused...on ministry, hospitality and PUTTING OTHERS FIRST

Peter says (The Message, 1 Peter 4:1 - 2) "Since Jesus went through everything you’re going through and more, learn to think like him. Think of your sufferings* as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you’ll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want."
*sufferings: aka my struggles, difficulties, little problems, inconveniences...

So: "take nothing for granted. Stay wide-awake in prayer. Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything. Be quick to give a meal to the hungry, a bed to the homeless—cheerfully. Be generous with the different things God gave you, passing them around so all get in on it: if words, let it be God’s words; if help, let it be God’s hearty help. That way, God’s bright presence will be evident in everything through Jesus, and he’ll get all the credit..." (vv 7 - 11)

Baroness Cox wrote this week: "While we might like to think that generosity is largely about what gets given from our own hands, the truth is different. Generous people understand that giving is inseparably linked to receiving, that we can only begin to be used by God to meet another’s need because we have begun to allow Him to meet our own."

Romans 12:3 puts it like this: "it’s important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him."

Proverbs 31 extols the virtues of the Good Woman.

"When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise:"

Hmm.  I ALWAYS feel incompetent and all the other in- and un- words which tell me that I don't measure up, can never measure up to this Impossibly Perfect Woman.

BUT.

I CAN do what I can with what I have. I might never, will not ever, achieve her perfection, but I can aspire to be more like her. Also, I am comforted when I think that, perhaps, this is also a picture of the church. Because, together, we CAN achieve all this and more.

"So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t." (Romans 12:4 - 6)

Good Morning girls posted: We aren’t aiming for perfection here but rather a heart of serving and loving those who enter our homes. I’m sure it’s not an accident that hospitality and hospital come from the same Latin word meaning healing. When we open our homes and hearts to those who are hurting, God uses our act of service to begin healing hurting souls.

Who can you open your home to today? What about the single mom down the street who is needing adult conversations and for someone to look her in the eyes and ask, “How are you really doing?”, or what about the widow whose husband recently passed away from your church? Maybe it’s the co-worker who needs to hear that they matter to God...

You see I think as Christians we have bought into this big lie that satan is selling us. (and yes, I have purposely typed a lowercase “s”) We think God only wants us to do BIG things for Him. That only the BIG things count. Big things like becoming missionaries and moving overseas, adopting 100 children, selling all our belongings or going into full time Christian ministry. You know, the BIG things.

But what if He’s not telling many of us to do those things? What if that isn’t His plan for many of our lives? What if His plan is even better than that?

What if His plan is actually to multiply our reach by each of us individually becoming intentional and purposefully, using the homes He has already blessed us with to reach those people He has sent us… by opening our doors and hearts to them?

What if we are just called to help those who are lonely feel welcomed by offering a simple meal and an open seat at a well-worn kitchen table?

God is amazing like that, you know. When we reach out to bless others, to open our doors and place an extra plate at the table, many times we end up being the one who is blessed.

So what if? What if we dream together and think about the possibilities of change God can do in our homes as we embrace our call to be hospitable? What if we push aside the temptations of perfection, the unrealistic expectations and instead offer real homes, simple meals and loving hearts? How can God move through these simple acts of obedience?

And so: "Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality."

I've heard it said that hospitality is not about homes and hearty dining, food and feasting - though it can be. No, hospitality is about inviting others into your heart and blessing them with what you have. It is about adaptable attitudes, selfless serving and generous giving.

Is that really so hard to do? Take the first step - TODAY.

Intentionally focused - on children

When I read about bringing children up biblically now, I mostly feel overwhelmed with guilt; the shouldhaves/oughtas/ifonlyI'dknown thoughts... even though my children have turned out to be wonderful, godly young people who live sold-out lives for Jesus.

But Moses said: This is the commandment, the rules and regulations, that God, your God, commanded me to teach you to live out in the land you’re about to cross into to possess. This is so that you’ll live in deep reverence before God lifelong, observing all his rules and regulations that I’m commanding you, you and your children and your grandchildren, living good long lives.

Listen obediently, Israel. Do what you’re told so that you’ll have a good life, a life of abundance and bounty, just as God promised, in a land abounding in milk and honey.

Attention, Israel!

God, our God! God the one and only!

Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you’ve got!

Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder;

So we did. And so I try to do, with the children I teach and meet. We can be - and have - spiritual parents, learning from those who have gone before and passing on God's wisdom to those who come after:

Stories we heard from our fathers,
counsel we learned at our mother’s knee.
We’re not keeping this to ourselves,
we’re passing it along to the next generation—
God’s fame and fortune,
the marvelous things he has done...
Then commanded our parents
to teach it to their children
So the next generation would know,
and all the generations to come—
Know the truth and tell the stories
so their children can trust in God...

For children are God's best gift. (Psalm 127:3) Children teach us that "Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God’s kingdom. What’s more, when (we) receive the childlike on (Jesus's) account, it’s the same as receiving (him).

“But if (we) give them a hard time, bullying or taking advantage of their simple trust, (we'll) soon wish (we) hadn’t. (We'd) be better off dropped in the middle of the lake with a millstone around (our) neck. Doom to the world for giving these God-believing children a hard time! Hard times are inevitable, but (we) don’t have to make it worse—and it’s doomsday to (us) if (we) do.

We are to be like children: simply trusting God.

Now, as Lent approaches, I am encouraging our children to take part in 40Acts. To grow in generosity, with me, together.

Friendship

Friends. We all need them.Ecclesiastes has the idea of friendship right: two ARE better than one... 

It’s better to have a partner than go it alone.
Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps,
But if there’s no one to help, tough!
By yourself you’re unprotected.

With a friend you can face the worst.
Can you round up a third?
A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped.
Ecclesiastes 4:9 - 10. 12

How lovely, to have a friend looking out for you, working hard with you...

And Jesus says...he says, again and again...  that love gives and gives, even to the point of giving even life itself, embracing death for the One loved, the Friend...

Look at his words:

This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. John 15:10 - 14

Command. Such a strong word. It means to give an order : to tell someone to do something in a forceful and often official way; to have authority and control over a group of people, such as soldiers.

Loving one another is NOT OPTIONAL.

And so, when we think of friendship, this is how we do it:

Be even-tempered, content with second place,  quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Colossians 3:13 - 14

Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.
.
Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:29. 31 -32

And how do we do this? A little verse slipped into the middle of the advice in Ephesians tells us:

Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted. Ephesians 4:30.
Just stay focused, then. Keep my eye on The Main Thing. Loving God, loving Jesus, loving His Spirit in me.

And what is love? When I love my family, my husband, my children, my friends, I find myself obsessed with their welfare, rejoicing over their gifts and talents, happy they are in my life.

So too I can be obsessed with the Spirit's 'welfare' in me, taking care not to hurt in any way; rejoicing over the many ways the Spirit works through a multitude of gifts and talents, happy to have the Spirit in me, in my life...Loving.

And so, as I consider how to better love my friends, I read:

Wounds from a friend can be trusted,but an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs 27:6
I can trust a friend, knowing that they have nothing but the best in mind for me.

Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight,
a sweet friendship refreshes the soul.
I can rejoice in the refreshment and recreation a friend gives me.

Don’t leave your friends or your parents’ friends
and run home to your family when things get rough;
Better a nearby friend than a distant family. Proverbs 27:9 - 10
I can rely on a friend to be there for me.

You use steel to sharpen steel,and one friend sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17
I can be sure that a friend might spark against me at times in a clash like hard metal, but that this will be for my good.  A friend sharpens me up: makes me grow; spurs me on to become more fit for purpose.
Because a blunt knife is useless.

So when our friends annoy us, or unintentionally hurt us, how do we bear with them, build them up and keep on believing in them?
How deep is the friendship?
Is it worth fighting for?
What do we do?
1 Corinthians 15:33 says: Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” We need to be sure that our friend IS truly a friend. If not, can we let go of the friendship?

Jen at Good Morning Girls notes:
"Not all friendships are beneficial. There are some people who will drag us down, bring out the worst in us, and tempt us to sin. (1 Cor. 15:33)

We need to surround ourselves with people who will make us better Christians, encourage us in our marriages, cheer us on in our parenting, and will speak the truth when we are wrong. Who will love us through it all.

“He who walks with wise men shall be wise; but a companion of fools shall be destroyed” (Pro 13:20).

We will not only be influenced by the company we keep, we will be known by it. This makes it important to seek out friendships with people who will lead us to walk with and become more like Jesus. And let me give you some good news. It is not common interests that solidifies a friendship, but a common Savior. The bond we have with Christ trumps differing personalities, styles, passions, and hobbies so that we are able to have strong, deep friendships with other sisters in Christ.

Not only do we need to seek out godly friends, we need to learn how to become this kind of friend ourselves. This is something many of us neglect. We want good friends, but do we want to be a good friend? Jesus calls us to this. Of course a good friend will point other to Jesus, but here are a few things necessary to being a good friend that leads others back to the gospel.

Being a good friend will mean:

1. Giving up our own preferences
There is no room for selfishness in friendships. We need to be willing to give up our own preferences for the good of another person. “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3, ESV) A good friend will seek to honor and bless those around them.

2. Speak truth kindly
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Pro 27:6)

One of the responsibilities of a friend is to reprove when it is needed. But doing this well requires grace and wisdom. It is not our job to become busybodies, but it is our job to gently and kindly correct if we see our friend walk in a way that is dangerous or in conflict with God’s word.

This means we must also be friends who are willing to hear and accept the reproof of a friend. This shows great spiritual maturity. While it may hurt our feelings we need to remember that truth spoken in love will be used by God to bear fruit in our lives.

“Let a righteous man strike me — it is a kindness; let him rebuke me — it is oil on my head. My head will not refuse it!” (Psalm 141:5)

“Yes, rebuke a wise man, and he will love you” (Pro 9:8)

3. Be Wise
Bring a good friend demands wisdom. Without it it is easy to overlook sin and danger, or become overly critical. It’s not just reproving that we must care about, but how we reprove. Can we discern the needs of our friends? What will effectively encourage them in their Christian walk? All of this, and much more, requires wisdom.

It costs to be a good and godly friend. We see the ultimate friendship in Christ. He is wisdom personified. He spoke the truth, and is the truth. And his friendship toward us took him all the way to the grave, for our good. He did more than lay aside preferences, he laid down his life. “Greater love has no man than this: that a man lays down his life for his friend” (John 15:13). Are we willing to lay down our lives for the good of another?


But this cost is the very gold of life!
It is the only antidote for selfishness!
It is the way of Christlikeness!
JR. Miller"
Some more questions to think about from Good Morning Girls:
In this fast paced, technology-driven world, I wonder if the face-to-face, intentional “coming alongside” kind of friendships are becoming more and more of a lost art.

Are we replacing real-life relationships with online acquaintances? 

Are we hung up on the imperfections of others, or are we quick to encourage, forgive and love generously in our friendships? 

Even more, have we isolated ourselves to the point of hindering the gospel?

And some more questions, from an incourage post:

Do you have people in your life that help to give you an unobstructed view of yourself?
Do you have friends who challenge you, inspire you and broaden your view of eternal things?

Are you that kind of friend?

As I read of Eve's creation,
to be helper to her Adam
holding fast to him
to be as One together:
I know that
I too can be like her.

With the help of Jesus.

As I read of Eve's betrayal:
her pride and wilfulness, her
desire for wisdom, her
simple greed -
I know that
I too am her daughter.

Yet Jesus had saved me.

As I read of Paul's teaching
that a wife should defer
to her husband just as
the church defers
to the Christ
who loves us

I know I am helpless alone.

As I read of how I should
be respectful in my behaviour,
setting a good example
for younger women
so that others
may not disrespect the Word,

I want to do my best.

As I read of the Perfect Woman,
skilled I'm all matters of wifehood,
motherhood, skill
and business,
I am reminded
of my own inconsequence.

And so, I live only through Jesus.

Him alone.

In the quiet...

Jesus got on his own.
"As often as possible Jesus withdrew to out-of-the-way places for prayer." (Luke 5:16, The Message)
"While it was still night, way before dawn, he got up and went out to a secluded spot and prayed." Mark 1:35

He tells me who he is:

The GOOD shepherd, not the lazy one; the LIGHT to live by and see life clearly; the ROAD on which to walk on this journey; the BREAD, the most basic of foods which I need to satisfy my hunger. The VINE: organic, living, far-reaching, bursting with growth: living WATER, without which there IS no living.

I need him.
“I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing."

And he reminds me:
"God means what he says. What he says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey. Nothing and no one is impervious to God’s Word. We can’t get away from it—no matter what."

And so I can say, as David does in Psalm 63:

"God—you’re my God!
I can’t get enough of you!
I’ve worked up such hunger and thirst for God,
traveling across dry and weary deserts.

So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open,
drinking in your strength and glory.
In your generous love I am really living at last!
My lips brim praises like fountains.
I bless you every time I take a breath;
My arms wave like banners of praise to you.

I eat my fill of prime rib and gravy;
I smack my lips. It’s time to shout praises!
If I’m sleepless at midnight,
I spend the hours in grateful reflection.
Because you’ve always stood up for me,
I’m free to run and play.
I hold on to you for dear life,
and you hold me steady as a post."

Catching up...on being intentionally focused

"Don’t waste your time on useless work, mere busywork, the barren pursuits of darkness. Expose these things for the sham they are. It’s a scandal when people waste their lives on things they must do in the darkness where no one will see. Rip the cover off those frauds and see how attractive they look in the light of Christ.

Wake up from your sleep,
Climb out of your coffins;
Christ will show you the light!

So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times!"  Ephesians 5:15 - 16, The Message.

"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."

And so: "Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another" (verse 21)

Following Paul's example: "I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back".

My head lives intentionally; 

my heart wavers.

My mind reads blogs, considers Scripture;

my heart wallows.

My thoughts direct my speech;

my heart suffers.

My head encourages me;

my heart makes excuses.

Intentionally focused...Psalm 90

God, it seems you’ve been our home forever;
long before the mountains were born,
Long before you brought earth itself to birth,
from “once upon a time” to “kingdom come”—you are God.

So don’t return us to mud, saying,
“Back to where you came from!”
Patience! You’ve got all the time in the world—whether
a thousand years or a day, it’s all the same to you.
Are we no more to you than a wispy dream,
no more than a blade of grass
That springs up gloriously with the rising sun
and is cut down without a second thought?
Your anger is far and away too much for us;
we’re at the end of our rope.
You keep track of all our sins; every misdeed
since we were children is entered in your books.
All we can remember is that frown on your face.
Is that all we’re ever going to get?
We live for seventy years or so
(with luck we might make it to eighty),
And what do we have to show for it? Trouble.
Toil and trouble and a marker in the graveyard.
Who can make sense of such rage,
such anger against the very ones who fear you?

Oh! Teach us to live well!
Teach us to live wisely and well!

To live for the day and the moment

to weigh our words with kindness

to act as if we used up our last breath...

to live for You.