I have found the concepts of princedom and pauperhood quite
difficult. I have found it hard to believe that I am truly a ‘prince’ – or
‘princess’ – in God’s kingdom and perhaps that in itself says that I have a
pauper’s mentality. I do not believe I am rich, that I am loved or that I have
access to the rights and privileges as befits a daughter of a king.
(Having said all that, by the time I got to the end of the
book and took the ‘test’, I come out as midway between a pauper and princess,
with perhaps a slight bias towards believing in my own royalty.)
Nevertheless, I tend to see myself as a menial kitchenmaid,
perhaps, in a medieval castle, knowing that I belong to the Lord of the manor
and am part of his fiefdom, but of only lowly status. I feel it should be enough for me to be the
lowest of the low in his ‘kingdom’, not expecting any more because I am so
fortunate that I am not relegated to a life of poverty outside the city walls.
Yet I do not have to live life as a pauper INSIDE the castle either.
When I started reading the book, with the first chapter
detailing how Kris was not behaving as a prince, my first reaction was to say
to myself, “well, I don’t say cutting things which tear people down.” But, of course, there are many other aspects
of behaviour which demonstrate that I too have a pauper’s mentality.
I found myself underlining and highlighting many passages as
I went along. Moving away from ‘pauperdom’ has been a slow and imperceptible
process, but, as I go back over the book, summarising the highlights will, I
think, help me make sense of how it has impacted me.
Moses: he was not a slave. “A leader who is in slavery
internally cannot free those who are inslavery externally.” Moses knew he was not a slave – he was a
prince of Egypt, he was significant and this enabled him to do what he did.
Kris talked about our circumstances of our birth and
childhood causing us to internalize feelings of shame and insignificance. He also said that paupers have a poverty
mentality and live in fear, struggling with feeling that there is never going
to be enough.
This is true of all of us. The process of bringing negative
influences out into the open so that the hidden effects can be exposed, and the
lies we tell ourselves dealt with, is lifelong. As John Maxwell says: “People
change when they hurt enough they have to change; they learn enough they want
to change, or they receive enough they are able to change.”
I was convicted by Kris’s statement that ‘Paupers...believe
that when someone else receives something, it takes away some of the provision
that could be theirs. They surmise that someone else’s blessing costs them.”
The older brother syndrome in the parable of the prodigal son. Yes, that has been me, too, but Kris affirms
that ‘The revelation of our true identity will destroy the spirit of poverty in
our lives. Until that happens we will keep thinking there are limits on what we
get to have. As a result, we are jealous
of anyone who receives something that we don’t have.’ Now, I don’t think that is universally true
in my life but in some aspects – in areas where I have not felt ‘significant’
enough – that is certainly true.
In all of this, one
phrase from the song No Longer Slaves by Jonathan David and Melissa Helser has
stayed with me: “
It is hard to live in a state of constant change: I, for
one, want to feel I have aspects of my life ‘sorted’ so I don’t have to keep
revisiting issues! It takes a great deal
of emotional strength to change and, sometimes, we just don’t have the energy.
Hanging on to the truths that ‘God never intended for us to live in poverty in
any area of our lives’ and that we should not be worried about our lives is
essential.
One area which has always challenged me is that of finances,
and yet I have seen God take care of these even though I have been worried
about future finances many times. And I have been worried about poor
stewardship of what I have had, hating ‘waste’ of any kind.
Yet Kris asserts that ‘If we stop living by faith when we
start receiving a regular income, then we reduce our provision down to our
ability to perform instead of the Lord’s ability to provide.... Paupers often
lose sight of their priorities when they get money, but princes don’t get their
identity from what they have because they know their identity is not dependent
on their performance or their possessions. Princes
own things, but they never let things own them....Princes don’t work for
money, but rather, they work for God.’
This all sounds wonderful – have a prince’s
outlook/mentality/attitude – and life is sorted. But really, it is ‘Yes, but
HOW?’ as J John would say. I skipped through the chapter (Chapter 4) on what
imprisons us: I KNOW that jealousy, envy, fear, unforgiveness etc – all the
Seven Deadly Sins and all their permutations – hinder me from stepping into
freedom in Jesus. I just want to know how to break free. This is both ‘easy’ –
believe on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ – and difficult. In Chapter 4, Kris claims boldly ‘In reality,
my sinful past no longer exists. The Lamb of God purchased it with a payment in
blood... Living in forgiveness does not mean we are to forget our past. Rather,
seeing my past through the blood of Jesus brings praise to my lips and frees me
from the burden of a guilty heart.’ Kris
talks about the scars of the past being rearranged by God to look like carving
on a fine piece of crystal – what is despised becomes a testimony of God’s
grace. I need the right perspective and I can get that by looking into
Scripture and reminding myself of what God says about me.
This is significant.
The names or labels I accept for myself – whether I have given them to
myself or let others define me – affect my perception of who I am. “Names can be prophetic declarations that
define a person’s identity. ....these lies are ultimately acted out in their
behaviour.” (p62) The most important ‘name’ we live under is that of ‘sinner’.
Here a dichotomy comes in. Yes, we are ‘sinners saved by
grace’ and it is the grace that must prevail. We are new creations in Christ (2
Cor. 5:17) and are to live as such. We do not have to struggle with sin because
Jesus has paid the price for it and he is able to overcome sin in our lives.
‘There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus... (Romans 8:1,
ff) And yet...I have to ‘struggle’ with
sin in that I cannot ignore sin in myself but must constantly confess it and
declare its defeat because of my status. I liked Kris’ assertion in Chapter 6
(Training for Reigning, p75): “When we begin to act like royalty, issues that felt like mountains in our lives will
become mere stepping stones to demonstrate our character.” And, although in Chapter 17 (p220) Kris
suggests that disaster does not ‘fuel revival’, I know that testing times also develop character.
Finally, in this first part of the book, Kris talks about
acting out of friendship with God rather than just obedience. This, too, I find
difficult: my view of God is too small, I find it hard to believe that I am a
significant friend to him and I am back to ‘lowly minion’ status. Yet, when I
look at the world and am paralysingly overwhelmed by its needs, I do know that
it is only by developing intimacy with God that I can make sense of my own
role. To “...walk by His side, conversing and discussing His plans for the
world” will help me find out what little part I should play. (p94)
Some of what Kris said I didn’t understand enough to agree
with: I wasn’t sure he was right. For example, when he said that ‘whenever
someone values us more than we value ourselves, we tend to sabotage our
relationship with that person’. That has not been true in my experience. I have
a dear, godly friend (now very elderly) who has always affirmed and encouraged
me and, I think, does indeed value me more than I value myself. In fact, I have
considered her as one of my very closest friends and she knows all kinds of
stuff about me!
I have read the whole book but not finished reflecting on
it. However, I found it useful to summarise
each chapter in a ‘soundbite’ and these have helped me internalize what
I have learned:
I gain confidence from knowing my significance
- Paupers have a poverty mentality – knowing my true identity destroys this.
- I need to leave the prisons of the past, especially unforgiveness, behind.
- Forgiveness rewrites my history – I no longer live in past bondage.
- I can live by my God-given name, not wrong labels.
- Ban insecurity! Act like royalty, encouraging others.
- Relationship with God comes first, then obedience.
- God created me for glory.
- True humility is strength restrained, not weakness.
- I need to give honour regardless of whether I feel it is deserved.
- Commit myself to other believers – be family.
- Bring justice with courage and power.
- Live bravely.
And so I think the biggest impact the book has had on me is
in the positive attitude it offers. Refusing to be bound by past
mistakes/failures/labels etc is healthy. Knowing that I am loved and
significant: as in the book The Help: “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”
I need to remember who I am and act with strength and courage out of love.
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