God will make a way

Remember the song by Don Moen: God will make a way... ? The lyrics go like this:
God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me

He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way

Do I believe it? It doesn't feel like it when I'm at the end of my rope, the end of the road, staring down a dark blind alley...I know I am still on the road - I haven't wandered off into the bushes. I can look behind and see how far I have come. That is encouraging and affirming.
Yet when I try to gaze forward into the murk, my heart cries and wails like a baby that it can't SEE. My brain starts to shout like a toddler: I WANT I WANT I WANT! I WANT to know what's going to happen. I WANT to know that things will turn out well.
My DEMANDS blind me to God's purposes.
Then they blind me to God himself.
I am in grave danger. Danger of losing belief in a good God and good, great purposes.
I stand on the edge of Unbelief. Then my eyes open and I see the danger, and I am terrified.
I can't see the good that is coming but I have a horrendously clear view of the bad.
I squeeze my eyes shut. I turn to the Bible. I listen to the Spirit. I cry out to Jesus.

Deidra, blogging over at The Middle, has great insights about delays. About how setbacks are set ups for something better when it seems that life has stopped. As she says: 'That thing that’s become stale, that place with no forward movement, that dream you’ve let die because it didn’t look like anything was happening—those are the places He’s working on. He’s stopped traffic now to create safer, easier, better travel later. Don’t get all worked up and overheated. Don’t assume that because you’re still now you won’t be moving later. He is always working on our behalf—in ways we can’t see, in places we don’t understand. He hasn’t forgotten you; He knows right where you are. He has gone before you to prepare the way.

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. – Isaiah 43:19 (NIV)'
  So I HAVE to believe because I cannot see. I have to have that 'teetering on the edge, heart in mouth' feeling to really believe.

I need to feel like that. I need belief, not sight. I need faith. In God's ways, not mine.

At the moment I'm in one of those places where it seems as if I'm not moving at all because the way in front is dark. It's not physically life-threatening, like cancer. It's not emotionally devastating, like a relationship break-up.
It is spiritually debilitating. I am in a dry place where there are no flowing streams or gushing springs, not even a trickle of run-off between rocks. Just a couple of muddy puddles and marshy places where the air  is stagnant. A place where I am trying to dig a well, building into lives which have not tasted living water.
It seems as if there is no one to give me a drink as I labour, growing increasingly thirsty.

Don Moen's song continues:
By a roadway in the wilderness, He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and Earth will fade but His Word will still remain
And He will do something new today

So as I believe in Him, in His goodness, in His promises, as I trustingly put my hand in His to lead me forward, HE will lead me along the road and HE will open my eyes to the water flowing in others' lives. It is not my labour that will refresh them, it is not for me to feel the burden of well-digging or to exhaust myself in doing.

I need to remember that I am not Mrs Fix-It-All but Miss Obedient-to-God.

What does the end of your road look like? Can you take that step into the darkness? Can I?

 This is the link to Bonnie's inspirational post on this topic.