Who we are informs what we do

Suddenly, into the life of the king comes a Jew, Mordecai, who was a great-grandson of one of the captives taken from Jerusalem by Nebuchadnezzar many years earlier. We are immediately told that Mordecai had taken responsibility for his beautiful cousin, Esther (Hadassah), after both her parents had died.

This shows true love and compassion: reaching out and caring for the abandoned in society is what God wants us to do, not just 'talking the talk'.  Mordecai sounds like a good guy.
(James 1:27)

Yet when I read the commentary: oh, I don't know. It sounds as if Mordecai was a Jew who could have returned to Jerusalem after the exile, but chose not to; perhaps he was an official at the king's palace, wielding some sort of power and prestige; perhaps he was worldly and ambitious, rather than religiously devoted to God.

I also wonder if he was OBLIGATED to take in his orphaned cousin, according to custom.

Yet even if he WAS all these things, his actions and a sequence of events eventually led to saving the lives of the entire Jewish community in Persia at the time.

God works all things together for good...


Esther 2:5 - 7

Things turn out for the best - even for those who don't deserve it.

Now, after a hasty decision, we see Xerxes (Ahaseurus) regretting his action. His anger had taken a while to simmer down and he realised, because of the law he had been advised to make, that he could not take Vashti back. Did he love her? Was she a good queen? Did Xerxes rely on her, and miss her? She became queen again later, when her son succeeded Xerxes on his death; perhaps she was powerful and accomplished in her own right. Certainly it seems as if the advisers grasped the opportunity to get rid of her, so maybe she wielded power.

Whatever she was like, now he had no queen at all.

So his advisers suggested he choose another. Only the best, of course, so grab all the beautiful young girls to be found and then choose his favourite.
'This advice appealed to the king, and he followed it.'
You bet he did. Thinking, no doubt, that a young girl was much more likely to be acquiescent and do whatever he said - especially after the example that had been made of Vashti.

Ephesians 5: 15 says: So be careful how you live. Don't live like fools, but like those who are wise.

Good advice. Be careful. Think first.

As for Xerxes and his court: this is beginning to look like a soap opera...   Esther 2:1 - 4

The consequence of not submitting...

Esther 1:19 - 22: so, the consequence for Vashti's refusal to go to her husband was banishment. Why not death? How severe was the regime at the time?

The devotional today says: "When Queen Vashti did not come into the presence of the king when he asked, she was showing disrespect to her husband. Whether or not he should have asked her is not the point, the point is she made him look like a fool. We can do the same things to our husbands when we do not respect them. Respecting your husband is to humbly submit to him. Now I realize that this is not a very popular idea in our society, but popular or not, we are called to follow God’s word."

Ephesians 5:33 says: "So each husband should love his wife as much as he loves himself, and each wife should respect her husband."

Humbly submit. Well, yes. Difficult, sometimes. But I guess the best attitude to have is that of Jesus as the Message says in Philippians 2:  If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.

Advice

After Queen Vashti refused to go the king, he couldn't make a decision himself without asking his advisors what to do. (He sent seven men - seven eunuchs, in fact - to fetch her; now he asks seven advisors. Seven is always a significant number in the Bible.)

"These men were very wise and understood all the laws and customs of the country, and the king always asked them what they thought about such matters." Esther 1:14

The advisors told him that the queen had not only insulted the king, showing disrespect, but that she had set a bad example for all wives throughout the kingdom.

"Before this day is over, the wives of the officials of Persia and Media will find out what Queen Vashti has done, and they will refuse to obey their husbands. They won't respect their husbands, and their husbands will be angry with them." Esther 1:18

True, really. We all look up to leaders, expecting them to model the behaviour we aspire to: just think of our celebrity culture of pop stars, actors, sports stars and young royals. Wasn't this wise advice? Doesn't it show them thinking of the consequences of Vashti's actions, disregarding the customs of the country?

Proverbs 14:8 says: "Wise people have enough sense to find their way, but stupid fools get lost."

Who was wise, here? Vashti was certainly told to 'get lost'! And the advisers were wise in their own way in their own times...but God has a better way: "We must look to God’s Word for true wisdom and discernment. We see in the New Testament that yes, wives are to respect their husbands but let’s not forget that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church.These men should have known better than to write such a law…forcing someone to obey you and show you respect never produces a healthy, loving relationship." 

Losing your temper...

Today, I read of how King Xerxes lost his temper: "King Xerxes was feeling happy because of so much wine. And he asked his seven personal servants, Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, Abagtha, Zethar, and Carkas, to bring Queen Vashti to him. The king wanted her to wear her crown and let his people and his officials see how beautiful she was. The king’s servants told Queen Vashti what he had said, but she refused to go to him, and this made him terribly angry."  Esther 1: 10 - 12

The chapter also tells of how Queen Vashti herself had held a banquet for the women.

When her husband sent for her, she refused to go to him. I wonder why.

In those days, she would have been his possession, to show off. After all, he sent for her for quite a good reason.

Was she so secure in her position that she was confident enough to stand against him? Brave - or foolish?

Was she drunk as well, leading her to make an unwise decision?

Was she an immature young girl, who became over-confident of her looks?

Was she sneakily advised or encouraged by envious, ambitious women to do what she did?

This chapter shows the king becoming angry:  Proverbs 12:16 says "Losing your temper is foolish; ignoring an insult is smart."

True. Doubly, quadruply...ply true for a leader, who, to be effective, needs to remain calm and in control of his/her emotions. A lesson. I seldom get angry now, having felt indignant more often when I was younger, and I manage to 'control' it, mostly. (Simmering, festering, resentment masquerade as control, but that is another story.)

But what I also learn from this little story is to be careful how I react to others: particularly to perceived injustice. I wonder, if Vashti realised what the consequences would be, if she would still have done the same? Do I think carefully enough about my  actions?

Showing off and its antithesis

Today's verses (Esther 1:5 - 8 and Matthew 4:8 - 9) show Ahaseurus showing off his enormous wealth - curtains of the most expensive material available; couches of 'gold and silver', presumably covered or inlaid, rather than solid; a mosaic floor of marble, mother of pearl and precious stones.

It is almost too much to imagine: I can  hardly believe it would be possible today. How could a wealthy man ensure that his craftsmen would not be stealing the precious metals and gems they were working with, for a start? Even a tiny amount 'acquired' by a poorer man would be life-changing.

This whole scene smacks of arrogance and exploitation. Even if we did not know that much of the Ancient World was built on the labour of slaves, we can guess so: for one man to own so much is wholly disproportionate in any society.

Then there is the temptation of Jesus, as Satan offers him the world and all its riches: he would have become the wealthiest and most powerful man ever to live.

And Jesus rejects the offer: he is already the heir of the Great Creator, who owns all the wealth in the world. There is something far better waiting for Jesus, and he refutes the Devil.

How topsy turvy: the 'better' is an agonising criminal's death so that we might become heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ... the words in Romans 8:17 which finish with "if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory."

Untold wealth...and suffering...

Treasure

Today is the first day of a Love God Greatly (formerly Good Morning Girls) Bible study on Esther.

I didn't know this when I opened an email entitled 'Where is Your Treasure?' from Wisdom For Wives. Odd, especially when I don't read the blog very much.

The writer is talking about money:

"I have heard more than one pastor say that you can tell a person’s priorities by looking at his or her checkbook. This seems to be supported by Scripture.

~~But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:21-22, NASB)~~

Maybe that’s why it can be so difficult to discuss finances with our spouses. Maybe these conversations reveal the true conditions of our hearts, and who wants to talk about the true condition of our hearts?? It’s quite possible that when there are unresolved heart issues, money arguments aren’t really about money. One spouse wants to discuss a budget, the other one fears being controlled. Four little words like, “We’re short this month,” can really mean:
You don’t make enough.
You spend too much.
You shouldn’t have taken (or quit) that job.
It’s because you wanted to buy this house that we can’t afford.

Even if the speaker is not (knowingly) holding a secret grudge, the hearer could be filtering the words through insecurities about his/her earning potential, or lingering regret or shame over a financial mistake for which the family is still paying. Rather than churn up all these issues, it is easier (in the short-term) to avoid talking about money, or to just ignore it altogether.

Money or wealth says so much about us, whether we lack money or have more than enough for our needs. This opens up so many thoughts about our 'treasure'. Oh, way beyond money. 'Treasure' is self-esteem, pride, perfectionism, striving to show the world how rich/good/competent/beautiful/clever we are...money can, we think, show others all of these things.

For Ahaseurus, king of Persia in Esther's time, his treasure was his wealth. Yesterday, in church, we were reminded of the danger of pride in possessions when we looked at Hezekiah, king of Judah, who was also proud of his wealth, and so, in 2 Chronicles Chapter 32, we are told how God 'left him'. 

But we 'leave God' so easily when we become absorbed by any treasure which is not God. When we put possessions or position or power or personal gain in the centre of our hearts, in God's place, we leave Him out of our lives. 

And so Matthew 6:19 - 21 reminds us: "Don't store up treasures on earth! Moths and rust can destroy them, and thieves can break in and steal them. Instead, store up your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy them, and thieves cannot break in and steal them. Your heart will always be where your treasure is."

For both Ahaseurus and Hezekiah, wealth made a statement about who they were. Let us remember who WE are: children of God and co-heirs with Christ.

And if we are co-heirs, then we have all the wealth in the world. Now, there's a thought.

Dealing with difficult relationships: finding forgiveness

Grappling with understanding the title (above) and the labels (below), I found some useful resources:
Dealing with a surprise attack when someone says or does something unexpectedly hurtful or nasty. And the topic of forgiveness comes at me everywhere I turn: Faith Barista, a sermon in church on anger and forgiveness...the book 31 Days to Lovely by Sarah Hawkes Valente, which is proving INVALUABLE.

Of course, dealing with these things involves humbling myself: wow, how I DON'T like to do that. BUT:
For the Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory. Psalm 149:4  And I have found great encouragement in Psalm 139:23 - 24 which says "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see f there  be ANY WICKED WAY IN ME, and LEAD ME IN THE WAY EVERLASTING.

The way everlasting. The way with God. No other way will bring me the peace and contentment I long for. Sarah Markley says:

"we fail and we fall. We shouldn’t do so on purpose to exhaust His grace, but we all make bad choices and decisions once in awhile. When we do, can we see the beauty in the dust? Can we look for that? Or do we hate our mistakes so much that the beauty that He is longing to show us in the ashes is lost?

He is longing to show us the beauty.

It’s so easy to loathe ourselves. We pile hatred onto our fragile souls. We fail and make mistakes and we hate what we’ve done. Even failures can open doors but sometimes we are too blind to notice.

...What is He longing to show us? That even in our sins, even in our mistakes and misjudgments, He is still there. He is always there. And He is close and good and He hasn’t changed. He is brushing His fingers in the dirty ashes, trying to show us the beauty there.

So, as I struggle with unforgiveness, God is helping me everywhere I look. I have just been sent a free book to review, part of the Everyday Matters Bible Study series on developing spiritual disciplines. The title of the book I have been 'randomly' (God-chosen) sent? Forgiveness.  !!

Today, at church, the sermon is on...anger and unforgiveness.

And Peter Jobes, of Sixty Stadia, has just written a remarkable post. (I love his blog anyway, but the fact that he is a good friend of my gorgeous daughter-in-law Adele is a wonderful bonus.)  Peter says: 

"It’s quite simple, really, you feel wronged by a situation, circumstance or person and you decide that the answer lies in you putting it right....

....there are a thousand little ways this thinking can creep into our lives if we don’t guard against it. It’s a desire to get up and fight for what we perceive are our interests, even though we know we have a God who promises to do so. It’s a pride problem.

We serve a God who goes ahead of us, rustling through the tree tops to fight on our behalf before we even reach the field of battle (2 Chronicles 20:1-26). We serve a God who pledges His faithfulness to us and seals that promise in His own blood. We serve the Shepherd of Psalm 23 who prepares us a table in the very presence of our enemies. A God who thinned the ranks of Gideon’s army (Judges 7) so that the victory would be demonstrably miraculous. And yet we find ourselves thinking we can win under our own steam?

The truth is that there are many times when faced with a circumstance that the answer isn’t found in our desire to fight it but in our ability to take rest in Him. Where we stop and hand off to Him, His strength is perfected in our weakness.

When the Children of Israel reached the Red Sea they faced what seemed to be an insurmountable problem. God had led them, literally, between the devil and the deep blue sea. The Egyptian army closed in on them and with nowhere to go they started to doubt their deliverance; once again they entered confusion as their enemies seemed to prosper and Moses stood up and gave some wisdom.

The LORD will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.  Exodus 14:14 (NKJV)

Or, as other translations put it, we need only to be still, to be silent. When we seek our own path, to our own idea of justice, it’s not about God any more but about our being seen to triumph. Like Caesar returning to Rome, we want a parade of victory but part of being a follower of Christ is that the parade of victory is His.

It can be difficult in life at times, when you want to resolve problems in human fashion and yet know God’s will is for you to hold your peace. It’s so easy to either ignore it and make a mess, or instead revel in the feeling of being a victim, yet we must do neither. We must find a place of peace, and let God set our world to rights.

My prayer is that I will grow more and more into a person whose default behaviour isn’t to strap on the boxing gloves and go twelve rounds with a problem, making more mess, but to hand it over to the one who has already promised to deal with it.

It’s not about being passive, it’s not about being cowed and broken. It’s about having the courage to stand and pray and believe in God’s definition of setting things right above our own.
Finally, a little Bible study guide arrived in the post. I signed up for a copy of 'Everyday Matters Bible Studies for women' which cover a full range of spiritual practices.  There were twenty-four possible topics ranging from Bible Study and Meditation to Worship...I got...yes...wait for it... FORGIVENESS!
#lookingforwardto #gettingstarted #onthatonetoo
And for inspiration: The Forgiveness Project.
And finally: "...while some friendships won’t last forever, never lose hope that God can heal all wounds. Never lose hope that rich friendships can still be found." 

Back to basics

This is the thing.

As I read blogs and tussle with myself, digging myself out of the dark hole I have stumbled into, I keep on rediscovering old truths.

God loves me.
I am inherently sinful.
God still loves me anyway.
God doesn't just love me - he is crazy mad about me.
God is immense and immanent - this is beyond my understanding, but he is simultaneously Creator of stars whose energy I cannot begin to fathom and is also closer to me than my own skin. God is outside of time and space and ....

Psalm 18:20 - 28 holds a special truth for me this week.

The Lord has dealt with me according to my righteousness;
according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me.
For I have kept the ways of theLord;
I am not guilty of turningfrom my God.
All his laws are before me;
I have not turned away from his decrees.
I have been blameless before him
and have kept myself from sin.
The Lord has rewarded me according to my righteousness,
according to the cleanness of my hands in his sight.

To the faithful you show yourself faithful,
to the blameless you show yourself blameless,
to the pure you show yourself pure,
but to the devious you show yourself shrewd.
You save the humble
but bring low those whose eyes are haughty.
You, Lord, keep my lamp burning;
my God turns my darkness into light.

And I look at this and I wonder how it can be true.  Commentaries such as Barnes say: "The Lord rewarded me according to my righteousness - That is, he saw that I did not deserve the treatment which I received from my enemies, and therefore he interposed to save me. Compare the note at Psalm 17:3.
According to the cleanness of my hands - So far as my fellow-men are concerned. I have done them no wrong."

And yes, I get that. If my conscience is CLEAR BEFORE GOD - not before the Accuser or my own self-doubt, mistress that I am of Second-guessing and the What-ifs - then I know that my relationship with God is right.

But my conscience is not always clear. I am sinful by nature.
Psalm 51:5 says:  Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

And this is true.

But this is also true: because of Jesus, I am made clean. Because Jesus died in my place, took my punishment, I have not been dealt with according to my (un)righteousness. 

I can stand blameless before God.

By my conscience is not clear. And so, as I go back to basics, I realise anew that my conscience will indeed not be clear because I am sinful by nature. And because God has forgiven me and will forgive me every time I turn to Him in sorrow for my sins and mistakes, I do not need to beat myself up more than is necessary to bring me to my knees in confession. 

This is me. Sinning, sinful, blundering through life, making mistakes, offending others...ME. AND I AM A PRECIOUS DAUGHTER OF GOD, MUCH-LOVED, BEAUTIFUL IN HIS EYES, LOVED AND FORGIVEN OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

Aaaah.

This is what Kirsten Strong Chasing Blue Skies says: the verses from Isaiah have always been encouraging, even more so at the moment. Last week, at Spring Harvest, we studied them again, too.

"Sometimes a new beginning soars on wings of glorious success. Sometimes it takes off and crashes, leaving you flat out laid out. And when that happens, I want to tear out of there and scurry my red-faced self off to safety rather than shake the embarrassment off my skin and out of my hair.

Tearing away tempts, but trying again trusts. 

I try again because I’m already hidden in Christ, so there’s no need to hide anywhere else.

I try again because God is the generous giver of fresh starts, and grabbing one means I accept that my rocky start is a bump in the story, not the end of it.

Trying again is knowing hope always moves toward the surface, anxious to comfort and hold you. 

So, for all those facing a new beginning this season – especially those whose new beginning took a tumble - I offer you this prayer from God’s heart to your own. May it remind you that even the most fledgling of starts can turn into your favorite stories.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I stepped out to make a place for myself, and I tripped up rather than took off. I feel embarrassed, nervous, worn out and just plain tried out. I know You understand, and because of You, this stumbling block to my new beginning is only a part of my story rather than the end of it.

Where would any of us be without Your daily (hourly?) offerings of fresh starts? A splayed-out mess at the bottom of the stairs, that’s where. Thank You for giving me a fresh start right here, right now. Thank You for showing me that walking in Your will is walking in success. Thank You for giving me a sure identity in You, not in outcomes.

When I contemplate retreating, let me retreat in Your love. When I think about running, let me run confidently forward in the abundant gifts You’ve tailor-made specifically for me. Give me the ability to see how my decisions today affect the story of my future. When I flip through the memory books of my life, may I see plenty evidence of taking Your hand and walking courageously in Your plans for me. Along the way, may I learn the art of taking myself less seriously. And thank You that no matter if I fly or fall, You make every story good.

And You end every story well.

In the name of Jesus, the One Who is head over heels in love with me,
Amen

Finding quietness... whitespace again

In church yesterday, we were challenged as to whether we had become lukewarm and indifferent to the things of God. If we were going through the motions - serving, attending a small group and church services, etc - but not really connecting with God. The minister asked us to raise our hands so he could pray for us.

But I didn't raise my hand. The heart is deceitful above all else, of course, but I didn't feel I WAS indifferent. I DO actively strive to connect with God, to rest with him, to encounter him... but I AM busy.  It is busyness that is the distraction, and Bonnie's book 'Finding Spiritual Whitespace' calls me aside to rest.

That is my challenge.